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Cool A Love Poem - May 11th 2016, 01:44 AM

I wrote this for the love of my life, Hailey. I think this may help me prove my love to her.

The girl with the pretty brown eyes,
She loves her some fries.
She has long brown hair.
I think I see her everywhere.
Even if people stare,
From here to there,
I'll follow you anywhere.
I love you.

So? Honest feedback!


Update: I changed the poem a bit!
The girl with the pretty brown eyes,
we'll still be talking when we die.
She has long brown hair,
I think I see her everywhere.
Even if people stare,
From here to there,
I'll follow you anywhere.
I love you.
Better?

Last edited by Agirlwithafeelingforgirls; May 12th 2016 at 05:36 AM.
   
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Re: A Love Poem - May 11th 2016, 02:56 AM

I would kind of think of this in a more friendshippy way if I got this, especially if I didn't already know if you were LGBT+. It is a really cute poem, don't get me wrong, but the line "She loves her some fries" just makes it more seeming like a silly, friend type poem in a way.


Let it come and let it be...

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Re: A Love Poem - May 11th 2016, 09:26 PM

Yeah, it kinda does. I just couldn't think of anything lese that rhymes with fries. lol
   
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Re: A Love Poem - May 11th 2016, 11:29 PM

I think this is really sweet.


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Re: A Love Poem - May 12th 2016, 03:01 AM

I did think this was really cute but I also agree with Dez. If people didn't know things about you they would be more likely to think that this was meant in a friendly way.


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Re: A Love Poem - May 12th 2016, 05:33 AM

Thanks guys!
   
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Re: A Love Poem - May 12th 2016, 10:44 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Agirlwithafeelingforgirls View Post
Yeah, it kinda does. I just couldn't think of anything lese that rhymes with fries. lol
Yes, I agree with you
   
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Re: A Love Poem - May 12th 2016, 06:22 PM

What a sweet way to express your love for her.
   
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Re: A Love Poem - May 12th 2016, 06:34 PM

Thanks, Maizel.
   
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Re: A Love Poem - May 14th 2016, 05:29 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Three_Blind_Mice View Post
What a sweet way to express your love for her.
My guess is that she will feel happy
   
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