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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Komorebi_Sisu Offline
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no one knew her - December 7th 2017, 10:53 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

At the kitchen table, the family of three
Sit down to eat, a perfect picture
They break their bread
They giggle and grin
Together, they win
Together, they love, and are loved

In the bedroom, a girl feels all alone in the world
Hiding under blankets
Wondering what is wrong with her,
why is she a mistake?
Why doesn't she belong?
Why is escaping taking so long?

Why do they suck their teeth?
Why don't they reciprocate
when she greets, them?
why does she get called names, and every other word are aggressive screams?

She walks out the bedroom,
to get herself food. In the kitchen,
So much snickering, taunting, disorienting
She'd rather starve, than stick around
another minute taking it all in, to heart

They see the tears roll down,
but they don't care.

They hear her hiccupping, and breathing loud,
but they just don't care.

they can tell she suffers every single day,
maybe they forget?
or maybe they decide her suffering makes her less
It makes her weak for sinking
instead of coming out the other side
She isn't perfect at warding them off
it is an uphill battle to remain calm every time
Sometimes she is exhausted and is less grounded
Sometimes she behaves silly
or doesn't have table manners
She has to adjust to interacting with them
When other people respect her or care, she feels like such a fraud
A spoiled brat who doesn't deserve any kindness at all

What is the point in a life like this?
This girl took care of these people for so long
One night she says she is tired and can't get up
They already torment her the minute she arrived

She says please I've had enough!
I just want to be left alone to eat something
Then, I will go back to my corner of the house.
They let her go, but not before they puncture a hole into her soul
They supply her with the shovel
They teach her how to dig
They push and toss her around
Till she pushes herself into the ground
A prison she has built herself
They help her bury herself in
It is like she never existed

No one knows who this girl was
No one can remember her name
No one can tell of the things that made her smile
or of the things she held onto to face tough times
No one really knew what she was like,
they assumed her family were closest in her life
All they know is she had ongoing depression
That must've led her to suicide.

This is the word the Japanese have for when sunlight filters through the trees - the interplay between the light and the leaves.

Sisu is extraordinary courage and determination in the face of adversity. Itís about not seeing a silver lining in the clouds, and yet jumping into the storm anyways.

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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
cynefin Offline
Broken crayons still color.

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Re: no one knew her - December 8th 2017, 02:24 PM

This is awesomely written. This part hit home but it's all beautiful.

why is she a mistake?
Why doesn't she belong?
Why is escaping taking so long?

Articles & Resources Officer|Senior Newsletter Editor|Forum & Community Moderator

The wild woman has
a deep love of nature,
a love for the ancient mother,
though possibly misunderstood,
it has always been her.
When she goes into
the wilderness
a part
of her soul is going home.
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~Abibliophobe~ Offline
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Re: no one knew her - December 8th 2017, 06:07 PM

I could relate to certain parts especially the part that Cassie quoted.

I hope that you are okay. Here if you ever want to chat.

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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
matthewmatters Offline
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Re: no one knew her - December 8th 2017, 07:06 PM

such a great poetic tale (literaly) and one is choked up to hear that last part
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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Onism. Offline
It was so easy.

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Age: 21
Location: Connecticut, USA

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Re: no one knew her - December 9th 2017, 04:28 AM

This tells such an emotional story.

It's like forgetting the words to your favorite song
You can't believe it
You were always singing along

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