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Self Expression Poems, stories, artwork and similar creations are great ways to let out your thoughts or feelings. Please share your work with us here!

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
kendallLoser Offline
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The Pretenders (My Recovery Poem) - October 25th 2018, 04:51 AM

I went down to the county hospital
And checked myself in
Spend six of my weeks there
Far from my good-timing friends
Things just went from bad to worse
But I don't know when
The only thing I know for sure
Is I ain't going back again

They took me down to hall D
After stripping off my clothes
Put me in a monkey suit
And threw me in the throes
Like a rat in a maze
A cow in the herd
Or a sparrow with a broken wing
Now I know the reason why
A caged bird has to sing

Cause I'm just a pretender
In the McLean Psychiatric Hospital
Should have listened to my mama
And quit my life of sin
Before I went backsliding once again

This bed is hard and the room is cold
And my cellmate's got a cough
She takes her meds and sleeps all day
Got two more weeks til she's done
She said she beat her boyfriend up
While high on crack cocaine
And now she sits and watches
Her life go down the drain

Cause she's just a pretender
In the McLean Psychiatric Hospital
She should have listened to her mama
And quit her life of sin
Before she went backsliding yet again

They walked us into some other room
There they tried to make us eat
Red-dyed gravy, cardboard bread
And something that looked like meat
One tough girl from Hall C
Picked a fight with the man at the desk
Mighty soon we were sent back to our rooms
And I bet you know the rest

Cause we're all just pretending
In the McLean Psychiatric Hospital
We should have listened to the good Lord
Maybe quit our life of sin
Before we all went backsliding once again
Before we all went backsliding yet again

Thanks for reading. And I just got Tumblr: waltzwithsin

Last edited by _Headphones_; October 26th 2018 at 12:52 AM. Reason: Moving to self-experesion I think it fits better there.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
_Headphones_ Offline
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Re: The Pretenders (My Recovery Poem) - October 26th 2018, 12:56 AM

First of all, I moved this to self-expression, because I think you will get more responses.

This is a really good poem and very well written. I really like how you repeated a verse but changed it a little. Great job and don't stop writing.


Don't lose who you are, in the blur of the stars
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay
Sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart
Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are
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Re: The Pretenders (My Recovery Poem) - October 26th 2018, 10:05 AM

I enjoyed this. I liked the repeated stanza too. I could relate to parts of it and agree that it's well written.


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Celyn Offline
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Re: The Pretenders (My Recovery Poem) - October 26th 2018, 05:47 PM

I really liked reading this. Very descriptive and well written.

Love this part:

Quote:
Now I know the reason why
A caged bird has to sing
A reference to Maya Angelou?


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Please call that story back.

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Re: The Pretenders (My Recovery Poem) - October 28th 2018, 05:57 AM

I really liked this poem, thank you for sharing!
   
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Hypothesis. Offline
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Re: The Pretenders (My Recovery Poem) - October 29th 2018, 03:01 AM

This is amazing! I really love how you started it.


   
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kendallLoser Offline
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Re: The Pretenders (My Recovery Poem) - October 29th 2018, 08:33 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Celyn View Post
I really liked reading this. Very descriptive and well written.

Love this part:



A reference to Maya Angelou?

Yes

and thanks everyone for the comments
   
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Golfing girl Offline
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Re: The Pretenders (My Recovery Poem) - October 31st 2018, 08:46 PM

I enjoyed this! Great job


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Itís the rhythm of your life. Itís the expression in time and movement,
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Re: The Pretenders (My Recovery Poem) - November 10th 2018, 06:36 AM

Cool, just gorgeous. Keep up the good work
   
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Re: The Pretenders (My Recovery Poem) - November 10th 2018, 04:32 PM

I really like how you repeated some of the sections over and over, but changed the words around just a slight bit each time. Well done, don't stop writing!
   
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