Lonely

[05_feel_the_rhythm_196]

Hello. My name is Katelyn. I have always considered myself kind of alone...I have a few friends and many acquaintances...and a couple of best friends...so in that department, I am lucky. However, in the relationship department, I have struggles. Being a sophomore in highschool, I have already had my heart ripped out of my chest and broken many times. Boys at school don't even seem to talk to me or like me, and my confidence becomes low every time my friends say they have a new boyfriend. I have been in one relationship, but it only lasted for a couple of months. I want to be in love....I know I'm young and probably have a misconception of what love really is but fact remains that I dont care because I am lonely and looking for companionship other than my brother, parents, and friends. I have been told by a few that i am beautiful, but never pursued that far...I've never been "chased after" by guys at school...and it makes me feel bad about myself...or makes me feel like I am not beautiful...I constantly feel alone and depressed like I dont have anyone....Will I ever find somebody who loves me for me? Treats me like a queen??? Tells me I'm beautiful?? Holds me?? Dries my tears??? Looks into my eyes?? Kisses me like he means it?? Will I find the one??? Im scared I will be alone forever...Please help.

[Chris]

Just do you know, most teens go through an 'alone' stage - your not alone. To answer your question, you will NOT be alone forever - thats an extreme exaggeration.

You basically answered the main question of why you have not had many boyfriends.

confidence

Yes, Confidence is a MAJOR part of finding someone to be with, or just building simple friendships. If you aren't confident, then guys wont want to even try. Confidence attracts.

Love is not something you fall in and out of, love is a choice - You choose to love the people you love, and thats why it is so very important to choose to love ourselves first: to take care of ourselves, to treat yourself with the same kind of compassion, forgiveness, and respect that you give the people you love the most in your life. You have to love yourself before someone else can love you back.

What I'm getting at is having confidence, and being proud of who you are is a big part of loving yourself. Guys, just like girls, can tell who has confidence. You need to build up your confidence and focus on yourself, not others. Once you have the confidence, start to mingle, flirt, be socially active, and have fun. We often run into our lovers by not thinking to much about it - don't go into a situation thinking you will find someone to love, because in most cases, love comes to us unexpectedly.

Best wishes,
Chris

[MWF]

Hey, your gonna be just fine. As far as I can tell, you seem to be a girl version of me, tons of my threads are like this. Ive never had a two month relationship though, or anything remotely close.
When your lonely(or depressed especially), you tend to think irrationally, lowering your confidence. Come on, you have plenty of time left, theres no way youll just go through life without ever finding love.

[Marcus]

I used to be lonely. I can completely understand where you are coming from. I never even had the chance to have my heartbroken because I was so unconfident I wouldn't even be seen by girls in a attractive way. Since I grew up at about 18 things changed I developed into a person who was liked and started sorting out my image. The thing is I used to be feeling lonely and questioned why I wasn't with girls or that, eventually through time it changed.

So because you are feeling lonely now, remember you are still young. You haven't become that person you are going to be when you have finished education, met new people etc.

I wouldn't worry too much about it, things will and do change. For now focus on learning and having fun. Things will be fine.

[Pessimistic Panda]

I agree with Chris. I was there done that, I remember how many guys looked over me because I had zero confidence, and the days I had more, even some of my guy friends flocked me (too bad they were taken already). Confidence is key. Sometimes us girls do need to boost our confidence a bit more, makeup, a new outfit, or something along those lines. That stuff does tend to help.