Missed Period...Do I tell my ex?

[Thing]

Hi all.
I have been on birth control for 6 years for a blood clotting disorder, and I’ve never had this situation happen to me. Before my ex broke up with me (the breakup is a whole other story), we had sex. He usually puts on a condom halfway during it, but he didn’t this time. He pulled out to put one on, but he already came. He told me that he just didn’t feel it coming that time. My period was supposed to come on Thursday, but it didn’t. It didn’t come on Friday either. Yesterday, there was some dark blood and it looked more like spotting. I’m worried that I might be pregnant since it came late, is a lighter flow than usual, and is dark in color (which I’ve read could mean you’re pregnant and my period is always bright bloody red &#128563. I’m very hurt that my ex broke up with me after sex and just how it went overall, and I haven’t talked to him since. I’m angry at him that I might be pregnant, but I also wonder if it’s just a random fluke. I’ve always gotten my period when I’m supposed to on birth control, and it’s never been like this. He’d freak out if I told him I missed my period, and I’d also have to talk to him for the first time since we broke up. I don’t want to worry him for no reason, but the problem is that I have to leave for college August 8th due to Covid (and I’m going out of state; my ex is staying in state). I already took a pregnancy test during my missed period, and it was negative; however, I read that you should wait a week after a missed period before taking one. I’m nervous that I won’t have enough time to find out if I’m pregnant or not and to figure out what to do before I leave for college. My ex doesn’t know I have to leave for college so soon, and if I ended up pregnant and told him right before I had to go, he’d lose it. What should I do?
Thanks!

[Ennui.]

Hi,

I'm so sorry to hear this happened. I understand that this can be very scary.

I think before you do anything, it would be a good idea to take test. I looked on the NHS website and it says that some pregnancy tests can pick up a pregnancy 4-5 days before a missed period, but it depends on the test. It is definitely most accurate after the first day of a missed period though, or if you're not sure, to wait three weeks after sex. Here's what the NHS said.

The reason I say to wait is because, as you said, it could be a fluke! There are so many things that can affect your period. For example, you're probably stressed from the breakup as well as leaving for college. If you've been sick lately, or had a change in diet and exercise, all of those things can throw it off as well, whether it's making it late or changing how your period presents. Plus, you're on birth control, which normally does a good job at preventing pregnancy if it is taken properly. So, I'd try to take a test to confirm that this isn't just a fluke before telling him. That way, you don't cause more stress and upset without knowing for sure.

But, if you really don't think you'll be able to get a test before you leave for college and you won't be able to tell him in person after that point, I'd also emphasize you're not 100% sure yet but you plan on taking a test and will let him know for certain when you know.

I hope this helps!
Dez

[Mallika]

Hi there,

Thank you so much for reaching out to us here on TeenHelp. I'm so sorry that you're having a confusing time with this. But remember that you'll get a clearer picture very soon

I agree with Dez and second what they said about taking a test again. If you want professional opinion on which sort of test might be ideal in your situation (which requires urgent testing), you might want to visit your GP.

Regarding what to say to your ex-boyfriend in the event the test comes out positive, I understand how nerve-racking it can get, but perhaps the best way to tell him is to meet him in person and talk. Like you said, his reaction might not be the friendliest, but he will have to come around to it.

It is a very overwhelming scenario, so take it one step at a time. First, get a test to confirm your status. If it turns out to be negative, then all's well and good. If not, you might want to think of some options on what you wish to do regarding the baby (e.g. do you plan to have it/not, etc.). Then contact your ex and tell him that you have something to speak to him about, and tell him everything. You might also wish to discuss the options you have thought about. I can imagine what a testing time this is, but let's take it step by step.

First, let's be hopeful that the test comes out negative. And like Dez said, if you've been taking birth control diligently, you shouldn't have too much to worry about.

Take care, and do update us!

[Thing]

Thank you both! I will take another test later this week, most likely on Thursday.

[Bru00]

Originally Posted by Thing

Hi all.
I have been on birth control for 6 years for a blood clotting disorder, and I’ve never had this situation happen to me. Before my ex broke up with me (the breakup is a whole other story), we had sex. He usually puts on a condom halfway during it, but he didn’t this time. He pulled out to put one on, but he already came. He told me that he just didn’t feel it coming that time. My period was supposed to come on Thursday, but it didn’t. It didn’t come on Friday either. Yesterday, there was some dark blood and it looked more like spotting. I’m worried that I might be pregnant since it came late, is a lighter flow than usual, and is dark in color (which I’ve read could mean you’re pregnant and my period is always bright bloody red &#128563. I’m very hurt that my ex broke up with me after sex and just how it went overall, and I haven’t talked to him since. I’m angry at him that I might be pregnant, but I also wonder if it’s just a random fluke. I’ve always gotten my period when I’m supposed to on birth control, and it’s never been like this. He’d freak out if I told him I missed my period, and I’d also have to talk to him for the first time since we broke up. I don’t want to worry him for no reason, but the problem is that I have to leave for college August 8th due to Covid (and I’m going out of state; my ex is staying in state). I already took a pregnancy test during my missed period, and it was negative; however, I read that you should wait a week after a missed period before taking one. I’m nervous that I won’t have enough time to find out if I’m pregnant or not and to figure out what to do before I leave for college. My ex doesn’t know I have to leave for college so soon, and if I ended up pregnant and told him right before I had to go, he’d lose it. What should I do?
Thanks!

Hi, maybe period haven't came because you still thinking about it and you are nervous and stressed... I think you should wait a little time before you will talk with your ex...