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Sex and Puberty For questions related to sex, puberty, birth control and sexual health, ask here!

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When should kids learn about puberty and sex? - December 30th 2010, 06:20 AM

my daughter is in 5th grade and is learning about sex and puberty. i think puberty is okay becuz she's going through it but i don't think she should be learning about sex. i mean it's not like she's gonna do it at her age. but what do you thin.
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Re: When should kids learn about puberty and sex? - December 30th 2010, 06:29 AM

You'd be surprized how many kids learn about sex, or know about it, by or around 5th grade. Personally, I think itd be better for her to know. Precautions, what can happen with it, dangers, outcomes, etc... Maybe not all at once, but gradually. Along with the puberty comes the hormones and all that jazz. So shes gonna wonder. In my opinion, i think itd be better if kids knew.

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Re: When should kids learn about puberty and sex? - December 30th 2010, 01:12 PM

I don't think there can be an age because pretty much everyone learns it off their friends in school so you can't control it. We had ''The Talk'' in school when we were 12, but we already knew about sex, and half the class were already having periods, so it was just pointless.
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Re: When should kids learn about puberty and sex? - December 30th 2010, 01:44 PM

Chances are, a child who is in 5th grade in a public school already knows a thing or two about sex, even if they've never done it. But I kind of agree with you. I think that it's appropriate to teach the children about puberty around age 10 or so... and sex probably around age 14. Even though I think that 14 is still a little young, some teens are going to do it either way, whether they're educated about it or not... So I think it's a good idea to educate them on using condoms, birth control, and so they know the risks.


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Re: When should kids learn about puberty and sex? - December 30th 2010, 04:26 PM

When I was growing up my mother was always very open and honest always very age approite but if I had a question about anything she would answer so I knew a lot about sex even before sex ed in school. really I think thats the best way to do things espically now when other kids are teaching eachother so much and half of it is wrong. she started having sexuall talks with me about dirfrent desies and things of that nature when I was about ten or eleven that seams young but honestly that kept me from having sex till I was good and ready. on a funnyer note when I was about thirteen she told me what masterbation was if I started having earges and wanted to take me to a adult toy store LOL that was a bit much but it gave me options other then having sex its amazing how young kids are these day's...
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Re: When should kids learn about puberty and sex? - December 30th 2010, 04:38 PM

I'm unlikely to become a mathematician but I still had to learn about maths in school. Just because you wont do something doesn't mean you shouldn't know about it. It's just learning about the human body and how life is created, I don't really see the problem.

I will tell my kids about sex if/when they ask. I suppose I would sugar-coat it a bit if they're under the age of 6 or whatever as they may find it a little hard to understand.

Edit:// I remember my friend in year six/fifth grade had her first period the day we first had a puberty lesson in school Just shows a lot of the girls probably started before the school even taught it.


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Last edited by Doodle.; December 30th 2010 at 04:49 PM.
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Re: When should kids learn about puberty and sex? - December 30th 2010, 06:55 PM

Puberty and sex are kinda different in my eyes, so learning about them is different too.
I would teach kids about puberty as they ask and be as honest as possible. When I was a kid and my mum bought razors she explained they weren't for dad like I thought, but "girls get hair too when they grow up". I don't think telling kids about puberty is bad at any to be honest, it's better they know about it and that it happens to everyone, rather than it happening and scaring them ...
As for sex, I think it should be age appropriate as and when they ask. Like I would never tell a child "a stork brings babies." But if a three year old asks where babies come from "mummys tummy" is a perfectly good answer. But when they're older and know more about relationships and puberty then they can be told more.


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Re: When should kids learn about puberty and sex? - December 30th 2010, 09:03 PM

I think that it's better she get the facts from you than get a warped view from her uneducated peers.


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Re: When should kids learn about puberty and sex? - December 30th 2010, 09:14 PM

I'm going to move this thread to the Debates forum since I think it is more suited there and you will get a larger range of opinions =).

Personally, I don't think there is a problem with kids learning the very basics of sex at a young age. Things like how to protect themselves from pregnancy or STIs are important, even if they aren't having sex. Teaching younger children about sex might also include teaching them about sexual abuse or harassment which is something that some children do face and often don't understand that it is wrong at the time. In a way, teaching them about sex might actually be protecting them more than not teaching them.

Also, some children are having sex a lot younger these days. And I think that teaching them about sex early is far better than teaching them too late.



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Re: When should kids learn about puberty and sex? - December 31st 2010, 12:47 AM

When they start asking - they should get information in small doses.


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Re: When should kids learn about puberty and sex? - December 31st 2010, 01:30 AM

I think learn puberty at 9 or 10 years old, as thats sort of the age that some of the 'fast developers' start. But I dont think they need to learn sex until 13 or 14. I dont care that most of them will already know a thing or two, and if parents want to educate their own children when they are young that is perfectly fine, but in a school environment I really think kids should be older, we started sex ed last year, I was 14, and some people were being all immature about it at times, and although in general we were pretty mature, there was the odd girl. I just dont think kids really need to know about that at 10. If they have questions about it, well sure thats fine ask ahead...but actual classes about it...i dont think so.
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Re: When should kids learn about puberty and sex? - December 31st 2010, 03:27 AM

My nephew learned about sex in fourth grade, because my sister was pregnant and he was curious. . I learned about sex in, what third grade? The basics. There is nothing wrong with teaching children where babies come from in fifth grade. Yes, maybe the stuff about safe sex and other such things should wait until 6th-8th grade and highschool, of course, but the basics are fine. Besides, I rather they learn about it in class, than on the playground.


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Re: When should kids learn about puberty and sex? - December 31st 2010, 05:13 AM

Most kids already know of sex and puberty at grade 5 or perhaps a grade or two lower. They couldn't tell you the exact hormonal changes but they know of it. There's no point in not telling them if the majority is already aware as it's not a big surprise. I think the detail of sex shouldn't be that great though at that age as they may be confused by such detail and there's no point in them knowing that much detail until later.


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Re: When should kids learn about puberty and sex? - January 1st 2011, 06:30 AM

When I was in third grade we, just us students, would often look up the term "sexual intercourse" in the dictionary. So I knew the definition of it at that age. I think that kids are having it younger and at 10 all we really need to tell them is, sex makes babies and if you don't want a baby then don't have sex or use protection. Want to know what we mean by protection, ask your parents.


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Re: When should kids learn about puberty and sex? - January 1st 2011, 07:32 AM

My mother sat me down and taught me what sex was as soon as I started asking where babies came from. I think by about fifth grade or so they need to know the basic ideas of what happens in puberty and how babies are made. Once they are a little older, probably thirteen or fourteen tops, I think they should be taught the full scoop.
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Re: When should kids learn about puberty and sex? - January 1st 2011, 09:50 AM

I think they're old enough to know about it when they're old enough to ask about it. No point lying to them about it.
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Re: When should kids learn about puberty and sex? - January 1st 2011, 04:00 PM

I think the majority of teenagers would ask strangers on the Internet or their friends before asking their teachers or parents. Sad, but that seems what happens. Teenagers or children don't like to be the one that doesn't know anything. Hell, I was looking up tips on giving head before I actually gave someone head the first time around. (Although, I was sixteen then.)

The issue is that there are kids who do get pregnant in sixth and seventh grade. I'd say basics and STI information in third grade. Then add more information each year such as adding information as to what to do if someone has a latex allergy. Include an anonymous survey in the beginning about what the children already know or have heard about sex so that way they can adjust the lesson plans to address myths.
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Re: When should kids learn about puberty and sex? - January 1st 2011, 04:05 PM

We had "The Talk" in fifth grade, and we watched some videos. At the time I'd already had my period (I was an early bloomer), so my mom had already had "The Talk" with me. Then, I switched to a Catholic school where we had sexual education courses every year. Some of them were pretty gruesome. I remember in seventh grade they made us do a project on STDs and we had to post images of them around the class. Honestly, I think they were trying to scare us out of having sex.

I don't think there's anything wrong with it being discussed around 5th/6th grade, but after that, I think it's the parents' duties to fulfill their job as parents and talk to their kids. (Since so few parents do, mine was the minority, and I didn't do anything throughout high school.)

I do think that it is important for parents to start talking to their children young, so they develop a bond with their child. If parents wait until the kids are 13, 14, or older, then by then kids are too into their peer groups. Young children are easier to get through to than older children.


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Re: When should kids learn about puberty and sex? - January 1st 2011, 06:14 PM

I think it's actually better to educate children at a younger age. As aforementioned, children are going to be curious, and some of them may experiment, alone or with others. They can intuit that something is going on with their bodies. I think it's best to educate them early, when their minds are more malleable and open to new ideas, than to wait until they're older. I think fifth grade is a good age to begin learning the details. It's about when I really hit puberty and I know I became curious about my body at that age.

Before fifth grade, maybe you don't want to give them explicit details, but I don't think anybody should be telling their kids that babies come from "the stork." My mom always told me that babies were made by a mom and a dad who were very much in love. No gruesome details there, but it satisfied my curiosity nonetheless, and gave me a bit of an idea.

It's important to allow children to be innocent, but I don't think parents should shield them completely from reality.
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Re: When should kids learn about puberty and sex? - January 1st 2011, 07:38 PM

kids aren't stupid.. by the time they're 9 or 10 they'll know more than you'd think. i think it's fine to teach them about puberty and sex at that age. obviously not about sex in detail.. but theres nothing wrong with introducing the topic. many parents will have already started talking about it anyway.


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Re: When should kids learn about puberty and sex? - January 2nd 2011, 08:44 AM

The sooner the better in my opinion. I did a project on teen pregnancy and by the time the students enter the high school several are already sexually active. So a lot of times its to late to teach them safe sex. It might just be a problem with my area as were a small conservative town.


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Re: When should kids learn about puberty and sex? - January 2nd 2011, 08:17 PM

I think it is good to talk the them about puberty about 9-11 as that is when periods start. This way the girls do not freak out.
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Re: When should kids learn about puberty and sex? - January 2nd 2011, 09:00 PM

Trust me, kids know about sex. Just not the details of it. It's not like school is showing kids porn or anything just the basics of it, and more importantly, what happens when you have sex (ie pregnancy and STDs ) I think kids should learn early, because it's nearly impossible to change society to keep kids from knowing of sex, but at least we can inform them. With all the TV shows, music, movies... nearly everything has sex in it. They might as well know what actually happens.

Besides, the sooner they know about it then the more normal it is when they're older, maybe that will lessen the immature giggles when the biology teacher says the word "penis" in 8th grade. Maybe not

But I'm also one of the few that thinks sex doesn't have to be horribly dirty, so kids knowing about it doesn't make them any less "innocent"



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Re: When should kids learn about puberty and sex? - January 2nd 2011, 09:15 PM

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Originally Posted by Dr. Pepper View Post

Besides, the sooner they know about it then the more normal it is when they're older, maybe that will lessen the immature giggles when the biology teacher says the word "penis" in 8th grade. Maybe not

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Re: When should kids learn about puberty and sex? - January 2nd 2011, 09:20 PM

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Re: When should kids learn about puberty and sex? - January 5th 2011, 11:07 AM

It is good to learn as early as possible, that way it becomes less of a Taboo among kids , and they can discuss it -which is healthy.
Y'know rather than:
Girly 1 "Jason LOVES yiou!"
Girlym 2 "He does not."
Girl 1 "Yeah , Jason is gona MARRY you , and have kids with you and ..."
Girl 2 "Ergh , Molly , you know how *Looks around* BABIES are made ! Ew , that is YUKKY!"

Learning about it may also make her find it easier to discuss querys with you.




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