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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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Girlfriend karma. - May 29th 2015, 01:39 AM

So my girlfriend cheated on me with a guy and now she's pregnant. Should I be mad? Because she cheats on me all the time but at this point idk what to do. Do I break up with her?


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Re: Girlfriend karma. - May 29th 2015, 01:45 AM

Quite honestly, I can't decide what you should do, but I also know that you deserve someone who respects you more. If she cared, she wouldn't cheat. Doesn't it hurt when you discover that she's cheating like this? You don't deserve to be hurt all the time.


   
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Re: Girlfriend karma. - May 29th 2015, 03:33 AM

I obviously can't comment on whether or not you should break up because I don't know the dynamics of your relationship and the impact that these actions have had on your own psyche, but I always recommend to people, to put themselves first. Perhaps trying to go back to this relationship can be overwhelming for you, and for a lot of people that's the case.

I feel kind of bad for your girlfriend, because pregnancy is a fundamentally heavy process for someone so young. HOWEVER, don't let her emotional reactions to a break up get in the way of you doing what's best for your own health. You can't control her reactions, and a lot of people tend to get, for lack of a better term, emotionally blackmailed, into staying in a relationship.

That's not a good thing and I recommend you try and identify/avoid it. Try your best to help your girlfriend if she asks, or needs some support, but yeah, as I said, you have to put yourself first.


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Re: Girlfriend karma. - May 29th 2015, 04:27 AM

None of us can decide if you should continue this relationship or not. It's entirely your decision. But personally I feel you deserve someone who respects you and stays loyal to you. When one partner cheats, it is really hurting to the other. And I don't think anybody deserves to go through that hurt. Having had a boyfriend cheat on me in the past, I just want to tell you that sometimes it is more necessary to look out for our own happiness. You never know what the future holds for you. If you decide to let go off this relationship you might be saving yourself from more emotional strain. Also, I don't really know what the situation with the pregnancy is. But if your girlfriend does decide to keep the child, will you be able to accept it? Your relationship is really complicated and you are really young. Just sit and think things out, You will come to a conclusion for yourself.
I am always here if you want someone to talk to. Stay strong.


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Re: Girlfriend karma. - May 29th 2015, 05:14 PM

Like I'm just confused because usually I get hurt when she cheats but this time… I'm just kinda numb. I mean, I try my best to keep her happy. Like, usually she cheats on my with this one guy and she got pregnant from a different guy and now I'm wondering how many guys she has. I just don't know anymore. Like I still love her but I'm so frustrated and tired with the cheating.


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Re: Girlfriend karma. - May 29th 2015, 07:20 PM

Hey there,

No one can tell you what you should do, we can only advise you. I think you need to have a long think about whether you can see this relationship going anywhere and if you think the two of you can come back from this, or is this all too much for you. Personally, I could not be in a relationship with someone who constantly cheats on me, that's not right. If you love someone you treat them with respect and honesty and I don't think your girlfriend has treated you well. It's your decision but I would take some time for myself and decide if this is what you really want for yourself.

You deserve much better than this.

Paige


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Re: Girlfriend karma. - May 29th 2015, 07:59 PM

Well, I know what I would say based off personal experiences.

But I can't tell you what to do, I know what I would do.

Put yourself first, is pretty much it.
   
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Re: Girlfriend karma. - May 30th 2015, 12:43 AM

By fact that your girlfriend has cheated on you more than once and that you continue to remain in a relationship certainly does show just how much you care for her, but the issue here is that it also blinds you from what's really happening. Imagine if it wasn't you in this situation but a friend, your feelings on the matter would be a lot different to what they currently are. What advice would you give to that friend? Be realistic. As much as you love this girl as it's obvious that you do, she either clearly does not love you back, or has some deep personal issues and simply can't help herself. Either way, no matter how much you love her, you're the one that has to deal with her behaviour. Is that fair on you? I personally think it's bang out of order. If I were in a relationship and I found they'd gone off with someone else behind my back, even just once, I would feel heavily betrayed and as if I were not enough for them. A person has a choice whether or not they want to cheat on the person they're supposedly in a relationship with, as does your girlfriend.

At this point you need to think about what you're actually gaining, and what you're also losing by being in this relationship. Whilst you may love her very much, cast your feelings aside and think about how much damage she's doing to you, herself, and your relationship as a whole. Do you really want to be stuck in a relationship with someone who cheats on you for years on end? Do you think you deserve to be cheated on? I certainly don't think so.

If you haven't already, I would strongly suggest talking to your girlfriend and discuss with her why she cheats on you. Explain how it makes you feel. Don't be afraid to express yourself even if you fear your self expression may cause you to 'lose' her. If things turn sour and she dislikes confrontation, it's yet another alarm bell in your already ringing relationship.

I understand that none of this may have been what you'd wanted to hear, but you need to be realistic about this. No matter how much we love someone, that love isn't always reciprocated. Ultimately it's up to you what you choose to do next, but again, I would definitely consider talking to her and discussing what's going on with both her and your relationship in general . You have the chance to change the direction of your relationship, and your happiness.


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Re: Girlfriend karma. - May 30th 2015, 12:53 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rivière View Post
By fact that your girlfriend has cheated on you more than once and that you continue to remain in a relationship certainly does show just how much you care for her, but the issue here is that it also blinds you from what's really happening. Imagine if it wasn't you in this situation but a friend, your feelings on the matter would be a lot different to what they currently are. What advice would you give to that friend? Be realistic. As much as you love this girl as it's obvious that you do, she either clearly does not love you back, or has some deep personal issues and simply can't help herself. Either way, no matter how much you love her, you're the one that has to deal with her behaviour. Is that fair on you? I personally think it's bang out of order. If I were in a relationship and I found they'd gone off with someone else behind my back, even just once, I would feel heavily betrayed and as if I were not enough for them. A person has a choice whether or not they want to cheat on the person they're supposedly in a relationship with, as does your girlfriend.

At this point you need to think about what you're actually gaining, and what you're also losing by being in this relationship. Whilst you may love her very much, cast your feelings aside and think about how much damage she's doing to you, herself, and your relationship as a whole. Do you really want to be stuck in a relationship with someone who cheats on you for years on end? Do you think you deserve to be cheated on? I certainly don't think so.

If you haven't already, I would strongly suggest talking to your girlfriend and discuss with her why she cheats on you. Explain how it makes you feel. Don't be afraid to express yourself even if you fear your self expression may cause you to 'lose' her. If things turn sour and she dislikes confrontation, it's yet another alarm bell in your already ringing relationship.

I understand that none of this may have been what you'd wanted to hear, but you need to be realistic about this. No matter how much we love someone, that love isn't always reciprocated. Ultimately it's up to you what you choose to do next, but again, I would definitely consider talking to her and discussing what's going on with both her and your relationship in general . You have the chance to change the direction of your relationship, and your happiness.
Thank you I ended it with her earlier today and im happy but sad... Like I feel relieved I'm done with her cheating but I also feel really lonely now and yeah… idk I'm probably not making any sense but thanks for the advice


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Re: Girlfriend karma. - May 30th 2015, 01:27 PM

It's perfectly normal to feel lonely and sad right now! In time, that feeling will go away. You may never forget this girlfriend, but it was in your best interest to end things with her.

I suggest focusing on other things to take your mind off her and to reduce the temptation of asking her to get back together with you.
   
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