I'm surrounded by people but yet i feel so alone!
Like no one actually cares about me, i feel like i should just leave because there is no one here to care about me. My boyfriend keeps saying i have him, but he is depressed and i don't want to bring him down more.
I really don't know what to do because i hate this lonely feeling. I want it to go!

Not having access to the internet has given me a lot to think about. I can't just distract myself with random things to read and learn about and watch.
It's made me think a lot about a girl I used to be friends with. She used to get angry with me for the smallest things, but she never told me. She just froze me out. She once stopped talking to me altogether for two weeks without telling me why. Every single time we had an argument I went crawling back, crying and apologising and coming up...

I'm so confused right now. I don't know what to think anymore. I just feel empty and numb. It's like i'm running constantly in circle, i'm going nowhere, yet every lap gets harder and more tiring than the last. The pressure to give up is greater. I get used to the pain aswell so with each lap of the circle I cut more and more deeper and deeper. But like any game or race there has to be an end. I fear mines coming soon. I can't take this anymore. I want it to end. I don't want to hurt anyone but...