I am so tired, in everyway possible. Feel so incredibly weak. Can't hold on much longer.

Kept my promise though admitted some things and that i am struggling a lot right now. Don't think i deserve the help though.

Went and sat next to the train track yesterday. Went So Tempting, going back tomorrow after my exam. No point as i will fail it anyway :/ ...

I want to die... I want to die now... I've been so so stupid! I was in the library with my friends at lunch and I got my blade out and cut my friends leg... (with permission) and then she cut my hand and my leg and then I just needed to cut and I made 2 really deep cuts on my leg and they watched and it felt soooooooooooo good and now I have cuts which mum will be able to see and I have blood down my leg and I think they all know I'm a freak now... I've been physically shaking, I don't know why...

I'm laying on my bed feeling awful. I'm totally stuffed up. I keep coughing and sneezing and it's making me feel sick. All this is making my head hurt and I just want to cry. I hate being sick!
Someone send me hugs and make me feel better? Please?

I've been having these dreams lately. I've had the same dreams for several years. Well not the same dream. But the same girl is in all of them. They had stopped for awhile. But they started again last night. She's always running up ahead of me, and then turning around and flashing me a teasing come find me smile. Nicky said it's prolly someone that I passed on the street or something. But I know its not. I would remember seeing her.

She is unmistakable. It's not her looks so much,...