i've been fine for the past month. well , somewhat. but then me and my ex bryant started dating again. everyone started stuff. & we broke up. well , his cousin ( angel ) actually did it without him knowing at first. he wanted to work everything out..
we started talking about everything, everything was fine. monday came & so did school. he was acting weird. and it didnt really bother me. but now , i just feel numb. its been like this for a few days actually. i told him and its like...

Binged today. And yesterday. Because I felt so down.
I don't even know what to do. I think I'm fine and then BAM out of the blue I'm sobbing and shouting and hurting.
I have a bruise on my arm where I whacked it off the wall, but I haven't cut. I ate instead. And then I exercise like crazy today and I've burnt off like, one quarter of what I ate.
I feel better, but the bad mood feels like it's lurking, waiting for me to give in.
I don't know what to do with myself.

Why does it always have to be me who is in the wrong!? Never him, because he doesn't make mistakes or give in, just changes his mind. But no, i mess up everything, everything that is going on at the moment is my fault, because he had no input at al;, well i must have a pretty clever body to have done this all by myself. I'm trying so hard to hold on and support him and just us in general, he doesn't seem to understand that he has to help me. The stress is unbearable and i'm falling apart.... but...