Not up to anything today, just wanted to stay in bed and not face the world.
Didn't happen, as soon as it reached 10.30 I was forced out of bed...
And now I have to go out shopping with her and I really don't want to...
Really not up to moving or talking or trying stuff I don't want on...
Not sure how to get through today, already cut and punched myself...
And the window cleaner was perving on me in the shower (he was doing the window) but I was tryring to use the...

Liam moved to a different home today. Apparently its so he can be with kids his own age, everyone here is from 15-17 and he was 5 so I can see their point. I've never actually talked to him though, He's mute.
And a new kid moved in, his name is Ryan and he's 16. He was a little rude at first but he ended up watching Mulan with me
We all call him Stefano now, I was watching Days of Our Lives (I know cool right?) and he said something that sounded like Stefano, and now thats...

I Think...

I know what I need, someone who cares, someone to look after me, not mum or nan or even my current friends, someone new, maybe someone to date, but more someone to be close to, someone easy to talk to, where I can rest my head upon their shoulder, hug them and cry around them.
I guess it's a good thing that i know what I need to start to be happier... It won't bring the happiness but I would sure as help to rid the badness... But I'll never ever get someone like that...

So I'm not allowed anywhere. The reason I was at the hospital over the weekend was overdose. And now my foster-mom is making Shane babysit me, to make sure I don't go anywhere or do anything stupid! Who does that?
And aim isn't working, its being all shitty.

. . .

I got back from the hospital due to my own stupidity.
Don't ask...

I really want to be in a gay relationship...

Like I see these straight couples on the TV and I'm like... Yeah I don't want that...

Then I see a lesbian couple and I'm like... yeah that's sweet but not for me...

Then I see gay couples and all I can think is how much I want that...

I'm a girl... But all I want is to be in a gay relationship, guy on guy...
I can't remember not wanting this...

I don't think this is normal......