I'm so confused about myself right now. Perhaps I'll just stop thinking. Perhaps I'll forget about it all and if I end up killing myself or cutting or starving then I'll have to start thinking again. How can things keep swinging from good to bad and back to good again? Is it just hormones? I swear to God I hope this is just hormones.

My nan gave me a letter today basically of things she's always wanted to say to me but has never known how. Some of the things that she said really opened my eyes to everything and made me realise i have to change the way I am at the moment, the one paragraph that keeps going through my head is this: 'Charlotte, I wish you knew how proud I am of you; there is going to be a day soon when I am not going to be here to tell you this but I need you to remember that. You are going to go far but...

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QrkgV5bl7kQ

I've been missing Jimmy a lot lately, especially since I decided on joining the reserves and such. Jimmy was killed on his 4th and final tour last year. He wasn't even supposed to be on the tour, He went in his friends place cause his friend had a baby on the way. He stepped on a IED.
I don't know, This song makes me sad and happy. If that makes sense. :\