Feeling low right now. Just don't feel well. Feel sick, dizzy and shakey. My own fault really so i can't complain.

Just feel pushed aside right now. Don't feel wanted at all. It's probably just me been silly but its doesn't help with people ignoring me.

Don't trust myself right now, urges are so bad. Don't know how to distract myself tonight. I'm going to stay and my nans that means no internet, most my distractions are at home not at my nans. The distractions that work...

This marks the begining of life long happiness..
No matter what life throws at me, no matter how I want to feel I will never be depressed and never cut again!
Done!

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For those of you who haven't been following our Social Networking pages, this is what we've been posting about over the last month:

August 24th: CHANGE: Dealing with mistakes poorly can stop your growth and recovery, so avoid these four common ways! http://bit.ly/qvCPCz

...

So recently I have been having a lot of nightmares. Not just any kind of nightmares, the kind where I wake up drenched in a cold sweat, gasping for breath, and trying to scream but I can't. But the subject of my nightmares is what is bugging me, they have been about my ex-boyfriend, Micheal. Now some of you may now that he was a stalker and later became abusive to me. The odd thing is, is that these nightmares started happening, around the time he left for college.

(Trig. I think) ...

today was awful.. My great aunt who had cancer died today.. it was really sad..

also i found out i can't talk to my friend ashleigh anymore. shes a grown up.. i can't talk or see her til im 'better'.. that will never happen. because im so stupid.. im really mad at my dad.. he told her that.. i have to talk to him tomorrow..

i have spend the last hour crying into a pillow so my dad won't hear.. i hoped id sufficate. but i didnt..

Everyone would be happy...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNOaV...eature=related


I cut again.

Spent the morning in a St. Andrew's Hospice shop. From 10 until 1 I got to check all the bits were in 2 games, and hang up some clothes. It got to the point where I took a book out of the donation box just so I had something to do. Not planning on going back. I'm happy to volunteer but I need to be kept busy. Distracted. I need my mind to be working. Like at the bar when I have to remember drinks orders, work out the change, keep everything stocked, and keep enough clean glasses behind the counter....

Sat here crying....again. Feel so pathetic. Today hasn't been to bad. I feel low and still want to feel pain and OD so badly but i forced myself to leave the house, met up with some friends. Had a few laughs. Decided that it would be a good idea to have a wheres wally themed party and everyone dress up a wally Made me laugh. My sister may have it for her birthday

I'm not sure how i feel right now. Thinking about things, everything seems so messed up. Feel shakey and horrible....

So Hailie's been really pissed off at me lately, The first time she spoken to me in 2 days was this morning to ask me if I could watch her baby sister Dani for an hour. Me trying to be a good friend said yes, Its now 12 hours later, She hasn't come back yet. I'm nervous to just put her to bed and leave her, cause I'm scared she roll of the bed or something. Dani has no bed, no carrying thing, nothing. Just some food and diapers. And the crying, She hasn't stopped in hours Me and Blake have to...