I don't mean to get everything wrong, i try to make you proud, I try not to be so much of a failure.

Today I'd been up less than an hour and my mom told me she was sick of seeing my face and that i should go out.
I still don't know what i did wrong, I'd hardly spoken to my family, i've learnt not to.
I try to please them, i try to make them proud, i want them care about me and love me. I hate the way they treat me and i know the majority of it's my fault but i don't know...

Had an ok weekend. Started lying about how i feel again.

Should be happy but for some reason i can’t. People tell to be happy. I feel like im incapable of being happy. I have a roof over my head, good parents, most the time good friends. And yet im still not happy. I guess my life doesnt think i deserve to be happy. Somedays i wish i was just happy like a regular person for an hour or 2. Not have my problems to worry about.

i’ve been told that im ungrateful because...