Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place,
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you?
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you're screaming?

No, you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost...

The fact that the scales are gone is freaking me out.

I was doing better. I was eating more. I was thinking less. I was feeling happier.

Now I'm triggered. Seriously triggered. I need those scales. I need to know I'm not gaining.

I don’t know what the fuck to do.

Well I do.

I know exactly what to do.

Yup, hello no food. Hello laxatives and stomach cramps. Hello exercising all night. Hello drinking shit loads...

I went to my therapist appointment and she wants me to see a psychiatrist. If I see a psychiatrist, my mom would only want me to see her once because we can't afford to see both a therapist and psychiatrist, and my mom still thinks nothing's wrong with me.
I'd be seeing the psychiatrist for self harm and a possible diagnosis of depression. My mom is a shitty listener and didn't hear the depression part until I told her, and my mom pretty much got pissed off and said that I really must be...