Get the picture? I'm not okay.

And I don't know why.

Last night I had to call Live Help because I wanted to cut and even though I was outwardly, and maybe inwardly calm, my brain was telling me to take the pills.

Today I got that weird chest feeling again and cut a lot and I can't calm down and I want to cut some more and I was supposed to be asleep...

Well, I'm now pretty sure that the no number calls I missed last Wednesday were from McDonalds and that I haven't got the job as a result. I've been checking metime every day, but it still just gives me the date that my interview was, which is now 16 days ago . . . so I'm pretty sure I didn't get that, and I'm really worried that whatever the calls I missed last Wednesday were, they're important. Freaking out about that. They definitely weren't from Judy because I asked her about it and she said...

We've all gotten that one text that just makes our shoulders drop in disappointment. For some, like me, we've gotten it more than once. I text quite often...I've gotten plenty of disappointing texts from lots of different people. "I hate you." "F*ck you b*tch." "Why are we always fighting?!" and even "Yay! I'm so glad we're friends again!!" (when I was trying to get rid of this girl who thinks she's my best friend, but really, I never liked her from the start.)...