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Help Yourself

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Posted August 17th 2019 at 11:46 PM by CrusadingAvenger

I remember a time when I first joined TeenHelp
that my ambition and goal was to help people
solve their life problems, no matter what it was.

Why I had that ambition was I was moved and
saddened to hear about stories of teenagers,
people like me who didn’t want to live anymore.

So I made it a duty at the time that I was going
to devote my time to helping those in need,
to be that source of inspiration through the dark times.

It felt nobly good to do such a thing.

Getting a few messages here and there from
people who thank you so much for your advice
and saying how you changed their life around.

It feels nobly good to do such a thing.

Sometimes when I used to work at night and
come home late, I would be answering threads,
answering messages and requests left to right.

It got to the point where I was mentally exhausted though.

It felt like I was giving the same, almost scripted
advice time and time again to people who kept
coming on to the site with the same problems.

Then I realized something…

I had spent so much time on TeenHelp helping others
that I was neglecting time to help myself. Sure, it’s
great I want to inspire others, but how can I do that if
I can’t even inspire myself?

I realized I was only spending so much time on the site
as a way to not feel alone, to feel like I mattered, and I
realized that I needed that time to work on myself
because no matter how many times I answered threads,
I messaged others and attempted to start a friendship,
I answered PMs and VMs I was receiving, I was
genuinely not in a good place with myself.

So I took time off to be on the road to improving myself,
to work on the foundation, which is my mindset.

Listen to me carefully:

I’m not saying you shouldn’t help others, that
you should never be a listening ear for someone who needs it.

Being of service to someone is the best kind of service you
can give, but how can you help others if you can’t help yourself?

I see so many people (not just on TeenHelp), but
even out in the open when I’m out and about
attempting to help others when in reality, they’re
only doing so out of obligation.

See, there’s a difference between giving from the
heart, and giving out of obligation.

I was taught by a mentor of mine a while back
that “the more that you give to yourself, the
more that you can give back to others.”

It’s okay to be a little selfish and give to yourself.

I’m not talking about material things, but
giving the important things to yourself like
making the time to exercise every day, reading a
few pages from a life changing book every day,
spending time with the people you care about, and
doing the things that you’re passionate about.

It doesn’t mean you never help people ever again
and you kick somebody to the curb when they reach out.

But remember, YOU are the number one priority.

YOU always come first above everything else.

Think of yourself like the engine in a car.

If you break down and can’t function, it doesn’t
matter how great of a condition the other parts
are in because the car isn’t going anywhere.

You can’t be that inspiration, that beacon of
light for someone if you can’t even do it for yourself.

I know this is not the popular thing to say, but
I say this because genuinely, I want you to be
in a place where you are one with yourself, where
you have taken the time to give to yourself, and in
turn, you will be in a position to give back to other people.

Stop trying to be everybody’s friend and get
everybody to like you. You might as well be standing
out in the front door passing lollipops and flowers if
you plan on doing just that.

It’s okay to help others and to be helped, but
remember that if you can’t give to yourself,
you can never be in a position to give back
to others wholeheartedly.

It will eventually feel like a burden, and you
will only end up hating yourself in the end.

Think about yourself before you think about other people.
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