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Advice
Posted February 13th 2014 at 09:46 PM by DanTheMan :P
Well. First off I think I will PM Rob about removing my buddy status. It might not be the most important position, but I feel bad when I'm not putting in the time someone else might. Its not that I don't want to be here, but when I have good days I don't want to come on here and get triggered.
Second, Febuary 14th tomorrow. A day that I thought would just be triggering. Now I'm just confused.
First of, this isn't me feeling sorry for myself, it's a fact pure and simple. I'm not particularly attractive, quite the opposite. Again, that's not me fishing for compliments, I just want useful advice not based on half-truths.
Right. So. Basically, I just got a message from a girl I know asking if I want to meet up tomorrow. We get on well, our friends tease us a bit, but thats it.
Next, I'm not the sort of person people just want to randomly meet up with to socialise. I can easily go several months without going out with friends. Mainly because all of my old friends never go out, and my new ones still go out with their old ones.
Finally, Feb 14th is a bit of a conspicuous date to meet up for lunch as just the 2 of us.
OK, so, I know I have an overactive imagination and my thoughts are probably just running away with themselves, but I'm just a paranoid person. I mean, she herself said it's just because she just wants to get out, but I'm pretty sure her other friends live near her too (we live about five minutes from each other but all of our friends in our current school live a good half hour away).
Final points. One, I've never had a girlfriend before, and where I'm from not having a girlfriend by the time you are sixteen is like not having a head. None of my new friends actually know that, it's a conversation I studiously avoid. Two, on the off chance my brain isn't running wild, I don't want things to be awkward tomorrow because I'm not attracted to her. We get on really well, but, idek. But I'd rather cut off my arm than be a "jerk".
So teenhelp gurus, em... Do you think I'm just overthinking this? And if not, how do I be nice about it?
Second, Febuary 14th tomorrow. A day that I thought would just be triggering. Now I'm just confused.
First of, this isn't me feeling sorry for myself, it's a fact pure and simple. I'm not particularly attractive, quite the opposite. Again, that's not me fishing for compliments, I just want useful advice not based on half-truths.
Right. So. Basically, I just got a message from a girl I know asking if I want to meet up tomorrow. We get on well, our friends tease us a bit, but thats it.
Next, I'm not the sort of person people just want to randomly meet up with to socialise. I can easily go several months without going out with friends. Mainly because all of my old friends never go out, and my new ones still go out with their old ones.
Finally, Feb 14th is a bit of a conspicuous date to meet up for lunch as just the 2 of us.
OK, so, I know I have an overactive imagination and my thoughts are probably just running away with themselves, but I'm just a paranoid person. I mean, she herself said it's just because she just wants to get out, but I'm pretty sure her other friends live near her too (we live about five minutes from each other but all of our friends in our current school live a good half hour away).
Final points. One, I've never had a girlfriend before, and where I'm from not having a girlfriend by the time you are sixteen is like not having a head. None of my new friends actually know that, it's a conversation I studiously avoid. Two, on the off chance my brain isn't running wild, I don't want things to be awkward tomorrow because I'm not attracted to her. We get on really well, but, idek. But I'd rather cut off my arm than be a "jerk".
So teenhelp gurus, em... Do you think I'm just overthinking this? And if not, how do I be nice about it?
Total Comments 1
Comments
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I think that it's okay that you are resigning from Buddy right now.
Your health comes first, so do what you think is best! Feel free to apply in the future if you feel that you will be better off, but take care of your health first.
Well, one meet-up won't necessarily mean you have to enter a relationship with her or anything! I don't think she expects you to enter a relationship with her or anything after one meet-up either, but if that's something worrying you, you can always confirm with you that you two are just hanging out as friends.
It could be a good opportunity to get to know her. Just because you're not attracted to her doesn't mean you can't be her friend, and it may be nice to get out on Valentine's Day, even if it is just to hang out, rather than to do anything romantic. If she said she just wants to get out, I don't think she has a deeper meaning to it.
I think that maybe you should give it a try and maybe a nice friendship will form from it. If, after this meetup, she DOES mention romantic feelings, all you'll have to say is that you're sorry, but you don't share the same feelings, and you'd prefer just being friends.
That's my look on it anyway.Posted February 14th 2014 at 12:06 AM by Ennui.
