So, I found out today that my teacher, Mr. W, passed away on the tenth. My friend heard a rumor so then I asked my teacher and she confirmed it... Apparently the school didn't even notify her and she was Mr. W's co-teacher for YEARS. And they didn't even have the courtesy to tell her? It's no fair. She didn't even know any of the wake and funeral information.

My dad found his obituary. His funeral is on Monday. My sister who also had him as a teacher is taking me there. It's quite...

I have come to the realization that if I don't go inpatient I probably will try to kill myself and that is the scariest thing ever. I found myself counting my pills last night. My mind telling me to just take them. And then this morning it was the same thing, to just take them. Those thoughts won't stop.

Part of me just wants to try to kill myself rather than go inpatient because I don't want to hear my parents but part of me feels screwed if I don't die because I'll have to hear...