Today, May 18, makes one year since my dog, Misty, passed away. Part of me feels really guilty that I was able to go about my day like it was nothing, like I shouldn't be sad. I had set my alarm to wake me up at 9 AM, the time that she was put down last year, but I somehow managed to sleep through it. So I guess maybe writing this will make me feel something? Maybe I'll even cry. But that's okay, because I feel as if I need to today.

Not a day goes by where I don't think of her, though....

I just found out...
I didn't want to believe it at first, hoped that I was just jumping to conclusions since it was so late when I was told.
Rest in peace my friend <3

Oh God, I went back on your profile to see what our last conversation was about. It took place on November 6th and 7th, 2011. The last time I ever talked to you. You were trying to get me to go into the chat room but I didn't have the time.
I'm so fucking sorry for not going into chat that day, for...

I am trying so damn hard. I can't take this. I'm supposed to be recovering?! If I could find my damn razor, I would cut myself. I have been cut free for how long now, and as soon as I want to do it, I can't. I am tired of hiding everything from everyone I know. Especially my wonderful, loving boyfriend. I HATE hiding things from him. We have been together for 2 years and 6 months, and yet I hide this from him.
Plus, he leaves in less than 2 months for Marines basic training and then...

So, I was addicted to cutting from 7th grade until 11th (I just ended my Junior year), but in January I went to the hospital for trying to kill myself. I went again in March because the week I spent in January didn't do much good and I tried to kill myself again, but this time I asked for help before I cut too deep. I have ugly scars all up and down my arms and legs and I hate them. I haven't cut since April, though, which is a big thing for me. Over the past few weeks, my dad and I have been...