Today was good.
No tears at all this week. I am mighty proud of myself. Even if I don't know how I am doing it.
Almost cried yesterday, felt the tears in my eyes. But I held it in and went to sleep. I forget why I almost cried anyway. Haha.
I don't what is happening to me. I am changing, it's for the better, but I don't know why I am. Maybe all the advice has finally kicked in. Who knows.
Not going to dwell on the thought.
Today I cleaned my room and...

So...this week. Whoa!
I don't know what to think really. At the beginning of the week, Jose and I broke up. He broke up with me. He had said so many offending things, whom may offend some of you here, so don't take it to the heart. :
"Things never happen the same way twice."-Him
"Rape victims get raped twice. Things happen."-Me
"It's their fault, think about it."-Him.

He said many other things than that. He sent me a whole...

Someone called me wonderful today.
I have fell like dying and cutting all day.
That made me me feel a tiny but vetter. Just enough not to harm myself.

Thank you. <3

Every one I see here and there have so much laughter and smiles in their faces and voices.
Why can't I have it?
I try really hard to be happy.
I'm labeled and known as the "crazy" girl at my school...my whole town. I am known to switch personalities in an istant. I am known to have anger issues. I am known as the smart girl everyone copies off of. I am known as the girl who will give in to anything you ask for. I am known for being gullible and vunarable. I am known...

Jose and I are back together. Just thought I'd say that. I'm starting to miss him more and more.
I'm scared to fall in love.
But I can feel myself doing it. Like if I was with him, I know I would be like, I love this kid.
But he doesn't want to fall for me. I want to be catched.
*sigh*

Help me be strong, guys.
I don't know what to do. I have been crying all night. And you know...I am so used to it.
Just ...encouraging words?

So, Jose broke up with me laat night. In a text message.
He said we could date after New Years but we need a break because his parents tradition.
What tradtion?!
I just said "k".
I don't think I want to be with him again. I know I do not want to talk to him.

But you guys all know Alan, Bryans (Ex of 4 years) best friend?
Yeah, he said he like me yesterday.
We talked about so much. I never stopped liking Alan. Duh. He was the only...

Baby Face-Nobody knows it but me.

Just singing' it over and over.

I don't know anything anymore..
I'm drifting.
Going deep withing myself.
Outcasting myself from everyone.
I want to be alone.
I m tired of putting my faith in people.
I am closing my heart and emotiona and ny ties to people.
Just me now.

Haven't posted in awhile...
That makes me feel that I put a pause on my life. This blog is the only thing that listens to me...
Now, let's see...

Three days so far. Three days ago Jose Esquivel asked me out. It's going good...
Truthfully though. He's the only one I talk to. The only one I text 24/7 . I hate it.
I text other people too. But their all guys. They are all my friends. But even still, I feel like such a whore.

Speaking of friends,...

What is wrong with him?!
How dare he ask me about my 4yr relationship with Bryan?!
How can he ask me how I got over him?!
The boy who made me sucidal.
The boy who made me cut.
The boy who made me starve myself.
The boy who made me depressed.
The boy who made me cry forever.

The boy who made me stronger.
The boy who made me wiser.
The boy who made me smarter.
The boy who made me realize promises can be broken....