TeenHelp - Entries for April 2011

Sigh.

Posted April 28th 2011 at 07:56 PM by LlamaLlamaDuck

Feel like I need to talk.
Not just speak. Talk. Really talk. Without worrying about upsetting someone. Or triggering them. Or worrying them. I need someone who isn't involved who I can just spill everything to and let it all out.
Tried the 1-2-1 thing on childline. Was kind of hopeless. After 20 minutes they said I hadn't talked much and spent ages describing the confidentiality policy. Then about ten minutes after said that they're aware of how long we'd been talking and I must be

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LlamaLlamaDuck

Llama Lover/Skittle Minion

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Dude.

Posted April 27th 2011 at 11:40 AM by LlamaLlamaDuck

WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED IN DOCTOR WHO?!

Yes. I only just got around to watching it. I was dragged to church Saturday night.

Spoiler:

So THAT'S why everyone's being going "Oh yeah Amy's gonna shoot the doctor in the new episode."?! Because she went and shot that kid that was in the spacesuit that killed the doctor in the future so now the kid's going to die and Amy will have to take it's place and kill the doctor in 200 years time because if she doesn't it will be changing

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LlamaLlamaDuck

Llama Lover/Skittle Minion

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Urgh.

Posted April 27th 2011 at 07:42 AM by LlamaLlamaDuck

Supposed to be going to placement today. Actually just going for a walk till everyone's left and coming back home. Can't handle it today. Will go back next wednesday.
So tired. So fucked up. Was dreaming about cutting. About people being able to see me. I was in my old house (why do I keep dreaming about that?) and it was dark outside. I'm a little obsessive about not having gaps in the blinds when it's dark out because I panic about seeing something. In the dream, every time I fixed

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LlamaLlamaDuck

Llama Lover/Skittle Minion

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A good thing?

Posted April 26th 2011 at 03:06 PM by LlamaLlamaDuck

So I posted this on my Tumblr blog yesterday. (Here if anyone's interested)
I wanted to share it here because people who have seen it seem to think it's pretty positive. Which I guess it is. But we'll see.

Today, for a short while, I honestly believed that I was going to lose the one person I love more than anything. It scared all Hell out of me and I’ve never felt so broken than...

LlamaLlamaDuck

Llama Lover/Skittle Minion

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Tomorrow. :D

Posted April 14th 2011 at 06:56 PM by LlamaLlamaDuck

My girl comes home from her signal-less middle-of-nowhere holiday tomorrow.

I'm so excited about being able to text whenever I want again.
And and and I'm going down there on Sunday until Saturday. SO EXCITED.
Make it Sunday already, I want hugs NOW.
<3

LlamaLlamaDuck

Llama Lover/Skittle Minion

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Can't you see what our lies have come to be?

Posted April 14th 2011 at 12:51 PM by LlamaLlamaDuck

I have to go to my grandad's today. Brother and I are dropping off a card for my cousin's birthday. It's not that I don't want to go. Well it is. It's just that after everything that happened I don't feel comfortable around them, especially without my dad. And I'm still having nightmares about them. Dad told me that when everything was sorted out, the nightmares would go away. And they haven't. It's my cousins birthday and she's 19 today (WTF I remember her turning 11!) so I know that going

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LlamaLlamaDuck

Llama Lover/Skittle Minion

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Need to sleep! D:

Posted April 11th 2011 at 02:51 AM by LlamaLlamaDuck

I slept for two and a half hours this afternoon. I had dinner, went out, came home and spent my evening drinking energy juice. Now I can't sleep. :|
Fml.
Someone tell me how I can sleep? It's almost 3am and my girlfriend will more than likely wake me in 4 hours.

LlamaLlamaDuck

Llama Lover/Skittle Minion

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Hm. (trig)

Posted April 10th 2011 at 01:26 AM by LlamaLlamaDuck

I don't know what's going through my head most of the time.

I'm scared to tell people how I'm feeling because their problems are so much worse than my supposed ones. I don't want to upset or worry anyone over something that isn't worth a second thought.

I don't like to tell my doctor when it gets worse because I worry she'll think I'm looking for attention. I worry that's what I am doing.

Maybe there's really no problems and I'm just stupid.
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LlamaLlamaDuck

Llama Lover/Skittle Minion

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Whatever. (trig)

Posted April 9th 2011 at 10:08 PM by LlamaLlamaDuck

Saw my doctor yesterday. Was a mess before I left. Couldn't stop crying, eventually attacked my arm with a blade and just put my jacket on. Was too hot so I sat there with my jacket sitting over my arm. Was the only one on the bus, when I checked my arm was a mess and had blood smeared everywhere. Sat with my jacket covering it in front of my doctor while she said that it was her last day until February because she's off on maternity leave. Recommended Doctor G and said that if the pills were working...

LlamaLlamaDuck

Llama Lover/Skittle Minion

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