Log in (
What I used to call home...
Posted September 21st 2009 at 11:41 PM by omg.megan
Upset, frustrated, f*cked-up - eh, he drives me nuts.
I can't believe how he's grown into being such a heartless bastard. He's my father, the only one I have and he can't even be there for me. I knew I shouldn't have went to him...money has always been an issue for him, apparentley I am not a very good investement.
God, I hate him.
Hate is a strong word, but right now, I think it is more than appropriate. If I could times it by 10, I would.
Breath in, breath out, inhale, exhale. CALM THE F*CK DOWN MEGAN.
Ahh.
"I'm sorry daddy, I will try to get injured or maybe killed in the next car accident if that's what you want, you'll be happy then ; you'll get my insurance money and won't have to give me a god damn PENNY! " . Bitch.
What pisses me off the most is that its not like he doesn't have the money, HE DOES. Plenty, he always has. That X amount that he always keeps in his bank account, IN CASE OF EMERGENCIES, he hasn't touched it in about 5 years.
Why does he make me feel like shit for asking for help ?
Help that is, btw, my last resort, I wouldn't have asked if it wasn't.
I'm willing myself not to let him get to me right now, but I can't. It's sad to think that just because of one little screw-up, your father looks at you with disgust and treats you like a dirty old sock.
I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY.
If I could I'd take everything back. Deal with the crap and don't do anything stupid. Keep living through hell but at least having a wee bit of decent family. A father, a brother that could maybe understand.
Anyway, I guess helping me out after a fricken car accident is not on his priority list. He gave me the money but it felt sooooo painful for him to do so...I hate him.
Much love,
- Megan
I can't believe how he's grown into being such a heartless bastard. He's my father, the only one I have and he can't even be there for me. I knew I shouldn't have went to him...money has always been an issue for him, apparentley I am not a very good investement.
God, I hate him.
Hate is a strong word, but right now, I think it is more than appropriate. If I could times it by 10, I would.
Breath in, breath out, inhale, exhale. CALM THE F*CK DOWN MEGAN.
Ahh.
"I'm sorry daddy, I will try to get injured or maybe killed in the next car accident if that's what you want, you'll be happy then ; you'll get my insurance money and won't have to give me a god damn PENNY! " . Bitch.
What pisses me off the most is that its not like he doesn't have the money, HE DOES. Plenty, he always has. That X amount that he always keeps in his bank account, IN CASE OF EMERGENCIES, he hasn't touched it in about 5 years.
Why does he make me feel like shit for asking for help ?
Help that is, btw, my last resort, I wouldn't have asked if it wasn't.
I'm willing myself not to let him get to me right now, but I can't. It's sad to think that just because of one little screw-up, your father looks at you with disgust and treats you like a dirty old sock.
I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY.
If I could I'd take everything back. Deal with the crap and don't do anything stupid. Keep living through hell but at least having a wee bit of decent family. A father, a brother that could maybe understand.
Anyway, I guess helping me out after a fricken car accident is not on his priority list. He gave me the money but it felt sooooo painful for him to do so...I hate him.
Much love,
- Megan
Total Comments 2
Comments
-
Gahh, must be so frustrating.
Keep your cool, it'll be okay.
<3Posted September 21st 2009 at 11:51 PM by noise94
-
Megan, I love you. <3
If he can't see how amahzing you are, then it's his loss.
I miss you!
Must have an MSN chat soon.
It's been like 2 days.
Looover you twin.
xoxoxoPosted September 22nd 2009 at 01:47 AM by Hollifire
