I find it interesting that people say i look beautiful and skinny, yet they still call me fat or tell me how something is unhealthy for me. There's only 1 person in this world that doesn't give a fuck about how i look...or atleast i think he does. It's hard to tell sometimes...why do people like to play games? Is that all i am to them? A toy? And i mean that in almost every way possible. But i've decided to stop hurting myself. Because afterwards i just feel worse. I wonder if insulting myself in...

I'm almost not sick anymore!! Haven't coughed since about 5am (it's now after 6pm) and the only way you could tell I've been a bit off is that my voice is still pretty hoarse. But it's all good because I can breathe again and speak without coughing fits and don't have to take a 1.5l water bottle with me when I go out.
I finally got my month's wages from work today (£199 - 40 hours) so I can finally get a couple of things I've been meaning to sort for a while now. I can get the new Paramore...

Everything was going so right. It hadn't in awhile. Now....i don't know....today was just...bad? I wanted to cry so many time, i scratched so many times, i starved myself, and i fought with most of the people i care about; which isn't many. So, now i feel empty and tired and lonely. I just want to sleep but i can't...i want to sleep forever but then i'd miss out on so much.

I wonder if i'm the only one. The only one feeling this way. Well, not knowing what to feel. Should i be happy or should i be sad? Should i keep doing what i do to myself or should i stop? Perhaps, i know the answer. Or i already do and i'm just ignoring it because i'm so use to this pain i feel everyday. Maybe, i am just alone. Even if i am, i should get use to it....

Rosie

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For those of you who haven't been following our Social Networking pages, this is what we've been posting about over the last month:

March 4th: SUPPORT: As Eating Disorder Awareness week ends, help a friend with an eating disorder regain their wellness....

Source: Notice | Facilitated Chat Room Discussions.


There are three scheduled discussions on the topic of building positive relationships in the Chat Room for users to seek advice and share thoughts and ideas! The first discussion will be held at 8pm UK time (BST), the second will be held at 8pm Eastern US time (EDT), and...

Yup, it's Good Friday. I'm at my Mum's place, I've been here since yesterday afternoon. They have literally just driven out on their way to Rotorua, so it's just myself, Nana, and the dog. Good times.

Really brilliant news: I got $50! It seemed pretty random to me but it turns out that it's the money I made doing the short shift at Spotlight during stocktake. I was surprised, but I plan to go The Warehouse tomorrow to purchase new underwear. I'm down to only 5 comfortable pairs, due...

I'm going to dental surgery in 10 minutes.
I hate the dentists' office, but not as much as I hate hospitals.
I hate hospitals with a smoldering passion worthy of a cheesy paperback romcom from a corner store, the kind that you'd find betyween the toilet paper and the laxitive grahm crackers, that you'd initially buy becausethe intensely romantic sunset silhouette of two ridiculously sexy lovers embracing on a beach intrigued you, but after a few pages you realized how shitty romantic...

I go for a prom dress at the first week of April.
I want to wear a short dress. I'm NOT letting my scars stop me from that, unless of course I fall in love with a long dress.
I'm buying my first pair of shorts since elementary school this summer if I find a pair that looks good on me. I'm NOT Letting my scars stop me. Self image maybe.
But I just cut again. My one last hoorah before my mom sees my thighs and I can't anymore. I'll tell her that they're from before I sent her...

I think I already wrote about how stressful Thursday 14th March was. So on Friday 15th, I got up in the morning, floated around on the internet for a while, then left for my appointment with my key worker. I don't remember much of that appointment. I don't recall which room it was in, or if I used the whiteboard, or anything. It's just gone.

I got home around 4:30pm. My flatmate June, was sitting outside drinking with a friend. I did normal stuff, cooked dinner, watched TV. Got sick...