Been laying in bed for the past half hour thinking.
I'm absolutely dreading college tomorrow. And today for that matter but tomorrow is worse. Clearly I'm just being pathetic though, as always.
That's me, the useless waste of space who can't even handle a full day at college. Spends the mornings wanting to cry, cut, overdose, lie, jump in front of a car, fake illness, anything to avoid college. Tried talking about it and everyone just assumes it'll be fine once I get there. It's worse....

Let my guard down a bit... But not sure if that's actually a good thing...
Got mock results today and a friend (not a best friend but we get on) was crying and talking to me on the computer...
Well obviously I didn't like it and reacted like I would to someone here...
She stopped crying and called me a sweetie
Inside I like that... Made me happy...
But y'know... I'm known as the strong unsensitive one... Hopeless with crying people... Blunt.
I never let my...

So yesterday I spent the day with my mom. I was really nervous for it, I was worried about what she wanted to tell me.

It all started out well. We talked about a lot of stuff and we went shopping for books, which was odd because my mom doesn't like to read, but she knows I do.

It wasn't until we went out to eat that she told me what she wanted. Just blatantly came out with it and said, "I wished your brother had lived instead of you, maybe then my life would be better."...

I don't know why i agreed to going back out with him.
We got back home in the car and he kissed me and then started being really rough so i pushed him off me, he kept trying to put his hands in places i didn't want them, but the more i tried to stop him the rougher he got and the more he hurt me >_<
I feel really bad though, he's my bf, i should have let him >_<
The more i cried the more upset and annoyed he got, i feel so stupid and pathetic :/

...

You knlw how they say love finds you, you don't find it?
I didn't belive it.
But I gave up.
And love came.
His name..Eskie!
I can feel it with him...perfect<3
Although I could never say,"I love you.", again, I can feel it, but that's all I will let hapen, just the feel.
Just the feel.
Last night, at like one in the morning, he said, "All I want for Christmas is you and a new pair of pants."
I said, "All i...

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I know this is really, really old news, but I just heard about this today (Shows how much I keep up with celebrity news).

If you're a fan of Kim Kardashian, you might want to stop now. It gets bad
(Forgive my language, I just need to vent)

http://icydk.com/2011/07/21/breaking...has-psoriasis/

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz...diagnoses.html

So Kim Kardashian...

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There are three scheduled discussions on the topic of living with mental illness in the Chat Room for users to seek advice and share thoughts and ideas! The first discussion will be held at 8pm UK time (GMT/UTC), the second will be held at 8pm Eastern US time (EST), and the third will be held at 8pm Pacific US time (PST). All you...

Freezing cold. I ate this morning. Exercised obsessively afterwards but I still ate.

Is that an achievement? I think it is.

I have an appointment with my counselor on Tuesday. I don't think I'm going to be able to ask for the help I need. I'm scared.