Needless to say it didn't work anyway. I'm sat back in my bed like the fatass I am despite having eaten far too much today. I think I've finally drilled it into my brain that I can't cut. But it seems that replacing those urges are now imulses to exercise and eat a ridiculous amount in order to "gain perfection"
I don't even know what that is yet. I keep noticing these imperfections in my reflection and it's really bothering me. My eyes are different sizes, my nostrils are huge,...

Chemistry - got a test result, 54%, a D I thought that was bad... Aint seen nothing yet!

Physics - did a mock exam and got result, 37.7% i.e. a G!!!! A big fat G! Not sure how to tell my mum... I'm seriously going to be killed...

Textiles - I lost 3 of my pattern pieces... If I don't find them, and they were nowhere to be seen, I can't finish my garment, we're only on the mock, which means I won't be able to make a garment to submit, this means doom! This means...

I fucking hate her
Bitch!
I HATE HOLIDAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't want to go to some stupid old persons place where people laugh at me for going
I don't want to be surrounded by people I don't understand
I don't want to suffer the plane journey which scars the shit out of me
I don't want to be bored to death
I DON'T WANT TO SWIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't want to miss greeeat matches!

I know it's selfish! I hate...

Breaking Down
Laughing, Crying
Not even happy
Everything is going wrong and I can't help but laugh!
I'm not talking about football.
We're 2-0 down and with 10 men, a previous man suspended... but that's not it. I'm just laughing!
Life's crap... hahahahahahaha
I want to die... hahahahahaha
I'm fucking mental!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha ha
O...

Have my first driving lesson today. Panicking!

If you don't hear from me by tonight, assume I'm at the hospital.

Happy Halloween everyone.

Haven't wrote in my blog in a while. Feel bad for it. Like my whole life has come to a pause.
There is so much to write now. So many things, so many people, so many details, just so much stuff to catch up on. *sigh* I do not know what to do with it all.
The boy issues.
The friend issues.
The rumor issues.
The family issues.
The self-esteem issues.
The cutting issues.
The depression issues.
Who...

Hate School
Hate Life
Hate Food
Hate TV
Hate Music
Hate Life
Hate Revising
Hate Stress
Hate Me
Hate Life
Hate Football
Hate Sleep
Hate Hurting
Hate Life
Hate Cutting
Hate Worrying
Hate Scars
Hate Life

Why won't things improve?
All I want is to live happily but can't do that!
Can't do anything.
Wish I had never been born.
Wish I could die.

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For those of you who haven't been following our Social Networking pages, this is what we've been posting about over the last month:

October 1st: LEARN: The wisdom of older people is often overlooked by younger generations. See what they have to share! http://bit.ly/qmKoKW
...

I started to see a councelor but she has been on maternity leave for a while. Since I first stopped seeing her things fell apart. My best friend is impossible to talk to now because she gets annoyed when I confess to cutting. She is going through the same thing yet she won't try to help me. It's all about her. My little sister has everything handed down to her and my older sister is never around anymore. My parents always say I need to be tougher like I purposely doing this. My arm holds scars and...