My christmas sucked. Its not that I didnt get anything, that I dont even care about. My real wish for Christmas was not to cry b/c of my druck dad. That didnt work out. but, I cant change it. I'm leaving today to spend a week with my bf. A whole week? hehe.....

Oh dear, I'm a day late again. xP Oh well...

For day 10 and what I wore today (technically yesterday) I wore a really nice pair of dark blue jeans. They kinda hugged my curves I guess.... *sighs* Anywho, then I wore a really nice black long sleeved shirt, that was a bit low-cut, I don't usually wear those types of shirts. I then whore a sea-foam green tank top under neath it so my cleavage would be hidden better. (I hope this isn't bad for a blog) Then I wore the necessary things...

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Hey everyone,

From all of us at TeenHelp we hope you have fantastic holidays!

CanadaCraig's Christmas Message 2010


As the year comes to a close it's important to look BACK - and see for ourselves how well we have done. Have we managed to become better human beings? Are we more compassionate - more caring - more thoughtful - TODAY -...

I realize this is a couple hours late but here it is anways :P

I had a hard time deciding which of the three people I was thinking about was my actual best friend.

I narrowed it down to Derek, DA, or Maddie.
Derek and I used to be enemies and we'd fight all the time. Usually ending with me beating his ass, of course he wont admit to that now tho :P, but we ended up being really good friends. I've already told him that he is promised the spot of best man at my wedding....

I feel soooooooooo huge and obese I literally feel heavy an like crazy overweight although I'm underweight medically .

My ED(eating disorder) tells me beat everyone at their own game and prove that you are not weak an can actually accomplish something that you can be more

And to feel better I have be toned and fit and have no flab ED says, also it tells me that I could
More and prove how strong I amm with things by loosing weight,I know so I feel ED is right...

Lol theres not much to say on this topic either. I went to work and cashiered all day. It was fucking busy in walmart and its going to be even worse tom. The roads were really icy going into work and then it was snowing all day and even started sleeting at one point. I was supposed to work until 10, but I found someone to take the last hour and a half of my shift so I could drive the 20 mile long drive home earlier rather then later.

Then when I got home my girfriend said that it was...

I'm not quite sure as to what either one of these wants me to do, so I'll interpret what I think they mean.

A moment is a special moment... and I think that one of the most special moments to me, was when my boyfriend called me at 5 in the morning, and told me his mom said yes and that I could stay at their house for a week in January. I actually called him later on that day, and asked if it was really real. I had fallen asleep after he'd called me so it honestly seemed like a dream...

Once again this is a blog topic that could go in many different directions as there are many different types of love. There is romantic love which is what I'm sure most people would assume first upon glancing at the title.

There is also love for a close friend, or family members.

For me though, love is defined by caring so much about someone that you would do almost anything for them. Love is staying up on the phone all night comforting your best friend after her grandpa...

Holidays are my EDs dominant and most powerful trigger and usually on holidays I can't relax or enjoy myself at all and am very antsy and panicky and uptight mostly because holidays mean food and eating in front of others and there being alot of tempting food .

So I am nervous and scared about upcoming Xmas and not sure how I will be dealing with having to eat more in front of my entire family and ESP since I'm on exercise restriction and that's my number 2 big stressor recently ...

One of the things for work I need is a doc satement my supervisor an others are worried about my health and don't want me to overdo anything and for safety reasons.

I have to have it in soon or I could be fired which is not a good thing so stressed with makin that work out number 1 stressor recently and it also makes me nervous so that's why I use ED so strongly to cope.


As ED is my coping method for so long andafter eating I usually exercise to calm down...