I'm too tired for this shit. I think I'll just OD on my Adderall tonight. Who knows? Maybe, hopefully, I'll die.

Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
hurt myself again today
and the worst part is there's no one else to blame.

Blood on my hand again. And over my other leg. They're both a bit messy. The blood made me smile. I felt so alive for that one moment. And it felt so. Good. Kind of looking forward to tomorrow. Home alone. I can cut as deep as I want and I'll have plenty of time alone to clean it up.

Now the after effect is settling...

I'm losing friends, I barely have any left.... i need help

My girlfriend and I both have horrible, verbally abusive dads. We both have indifferent mothers, siblings who don't care, and we both cut. We both have each other...but sometimes I wonder if that's enough. We both have depression, her's is untreated, mine is treated though my meds don't work at all. I can tell I'm the reason she keeps on going through life. But how can I be, when she's the reason I keep going. When I have two ex's that still like me and despise her for being my girlfriend? How is...

Today I drew a butterfly on my ankle. I named it Mikaela (or Mikayla). I named it this because Mikayla is my niece’s name. I spelled it the other way because that’s the girl that I really like. She doesn’t know I like her, but I know she cuts too. Or she used to. I think it will make me want to let it live even more knowing that it represents two people instead of one. I really hope I can make it. I don’t want to kill it. Well I guess we’ll see how it goes. Wish me luck. =]

so my girlfriend is starting to get more depressed and so am i....i think i should cut again...

So i haven't cut in awhile...good right?...not really...while i haven't been cutting, i started drinking and smoking and crying a lot

Cried myself to sleep.. Woot... Fucked up,, Was in a bitchy mood, and no matter what I did, I couldn't stop myself from hurting her.. Now she says she's going to make it so no one can ever hurt her again... She wouldn't tell me what she meant by that.. She said she was tired and went to "bed"

I better talk to her today... I need to know if she hates me as much as I hate myself right now.. I can't fucking believe I made her cry.. I just wanna die.
I hate this. Why...

“There is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. but the most important thing is, even if we're apart.. i'll always be with you and always care about you.”