Somewhere on this site I said that what keeps me moving forward are little epiphanies I keep having every once in a while. Through these tiny realizations, I learn about myself and others. I'm starting to break through the wall of alienation I've built around myself to keep others out (which also prevented ME from reaching out to others). And that makes me happy. I won't say that I'm ecstatic about it, but plain old feeling-at-home, breakfast-in-bed happy. And I have a very good reason to feel happy....

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I'm sorry to the people I told that I'd stop cutting myself,because I havn't. I actually went 4 days without it..but I couldn't help myself tonight.
Sorry.

And when it rains on this side of town it touches everything
Just say it again and mean it, we dont miss a thing
You made yourself a bed at the bottom of the blackest hole
And convinced yourself its not the reason you dont see the sun anymore

And oh,oh how could you do it?
Oh I, I never saw it coming
Oh,Oh I need the ending
So why cant you stay long enough to explain?

And when it rains will you always find an escape?
Just running...

So, it's been a while since I've blogged. I feel like I say that every time I post.... Anyway, I've been staying at my sister's house a lot in the past week and as much as I love being there, it's also just teasing me that I can't move out. I wish I could just go there and stay there, not have to come back to this house. Then again, I don't know what I would do without TH..not to mention my comfy bed that I've been sleeping in for the past 5 years. *sigh*

Moving on, here's a little...

Sometimes, we experience things that change us, forever. I've experienced a few of these things myself, like most of us have.

I want to talk about a significant event in my life today. Sure, reading the Harry Potter books changed my life; now I am able to say that I've read them. Learning to drive a car changed my life; now I can get to work easier. But sometimes things that are less obvious have greater impact on us.

I grew up alone, believing only in my own demons. Believing...

OK so yesterday I only had a 1/4 bottle of water. No calories and I walked into town from school from there I walked home. In total I walked 5 miles.
On top of that at one in the morning I was doing sit ups and press ups etc until 3 in the moring.
In total I burned off XXX calories.
Im a stupid fat bastard im paying the price for it today as everytime I stand up I sway in dizziness.

ok,so im new to this site. i have no idea what to write in this blog, and i doubt anyone will find any of what i have to say interesting. so i decided i'll just write about whatever random crap comes into my head, and see what happens.
Through everything ive been through in the past 2 years, ive wanted to believe in life so much, that everyone finds their true happiness, and to believe in kindheartedness, and that no one will screw me around. but thats not the case really. ive been screwed...

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