Feeling worse than ever lately, alone, stupid, urges, scared, need you more than ever...

I guess it doesn't matter though, I don't think people would even notice if I went.. Pills are so useful right now.

Had a rough night, had a panic attack then a ended up cutting >_<
I feel bad for it now but I needed it, it helps me, I don't know what else to do anymore.

But it's okay because no one notices me, it all just reminds me how alone I am. Stupid. Stupid. Charli just face it, no one likes you, you're alone.

Sitting here feeling so lonely, so worthless and watching no one care :/

She's so amazing and shes mine I still can't believe it, I still have to remind myself occasionally that it is real xD

Eeeepppp, her cute laugh makes me smile so much

Urghhh family meal today :/ Really don't want to go, it's just a time to critise me and go on and on and on about medical school and how theres really no other optition for me >_<

I'd rather be sitting in my room by myself but my mom said i'm anti social and selfish. I don't want to deal with everything thats going on in my family, it sounds awful but i don't care, I don't like that side of my family. I want to concentrate on myself and my studying and the people close to me :/...

What would you say if i said I was leaving everything tommorrow? Would you even care or notice, would you ever even think about me?
I'm starting to think you wouldn't, but I miss you so much.

All I've found out recently is how much people don't care, how it's okay to hurt me.
Yeah I may be bisexual and I may self harm, but it doesn't mean it's okay to call me the lesbian emo. I don't even know how they found out. I hope they leave school at the end of this year, anyway...

Maths exam today :/ so nervous and I know I'm not going to do well.
Parents keep getting really angry with me because I'm looking at doing oncology and radiotherapy or child nursing instead of medicine as I'm not going to get the grades for medicine :/

Feeling so low and missing her more than ever

Curled up in bed, feel sick and crying. Eight exams to go in the next nine days, I've revised but still know nothing...
I'm going to fail, ruin everything... So stressed, can't cope. Self destruction >_<

Having such a crap few days, really don't want to go to school. Got shouted at by my friend yesterday for acting miserable when I didn't realise I was, but I hadn't told my grandad tried to kill himself on Monday. My friends just talk about me behind my back, I've heard them when they didn't realise I was in the room.

Guess I'll be by myself again, the kid no one cares about or wants to talk to :/