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Old

Giving up slowly. (Triggering?)

Posted October 23rd 2013 at 06:23 PM by Ennui. (Rantings of a Mermaid Princess)
Updated October 23rd 2013 at 11:26 PM by Ennui.

Half of me cares, half of me doesn't. I don't know how to do anything in school anymore, half because I'm a stupid fuck and half because I just don't care anymore, but then I get back my grades and remind myself just how much of a worthless failure I really am.

And half of me still just wants to take the pills, god dammit, if only I had the courage to they'd be swallowed right now. And still want to slice up my arms with the pretty new tool. Though I'm going to the YOUTH Forum event...
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Living the dream.
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Views 516 Comments 3 Ennui. is offline
         
Old

Confusion? (TRIG)

Posted January 31st 2012 at 02:28 AM by Ennui. (Rantings of a Mermaid Princess)

I had a pretty good week last week I guess. Nothing major happened. But yet this week, still nothing has happened and I find my negative thoughts have returned.

My motivation has been down the toilet for a while but yet I still get upset when I don't do well on something. I haven't felt any strong emotions but yet I'm still sitting here thinking all negatively. I'm a failure who will never get anywhere and I feel ugly and wish I could get hit by the nearest bus or something because...
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Living the dream.
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 425 Comments 1 Ennui. is offline
Old

Sometimes I cut and don't even know why (SH TRIG)

Posted January 9th 2012 at 02:28 AM by Ennui. (Rantings of a Mermaid Princess)

While sitting there talking to people feeling fine I end up cutting.
I'm so stupid. It's on the wrist this time. At least if I'm gone for a while you know why.

I'm so fucked up. Get that sad scared feeling in my heart out of nowhere. Cut out of nowhere. Tired out of nowhere. No motivation out of nowhere.

Sick with a cold right now. The fuck's wrong with me?
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Living the dream.
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 358 Comments 1 Ennui. is offline
 
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