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Question Pregnant by my Father, Should I tell him? - August 23rd 2011, 07:32 PM

I lied to my parents about who the father of my baby is. My dad is not one to physically abuse his kids but I remember the way he gets when he's angry and I've been to see him spar and even fight with my older brothers. I never reported my dad for what he did because when I told him how I felt about it he promised to stop and he has. The only problem was that I found out a few days ago that I'm pregnant by him. I told my parents that I hooked up with a guy from school over the summer. Yesterday I was in my room sitting at my desk when my dad came in and started asking questions wanting to know about the baby's father. He was massaging my shoulders and telling me that I could talk to him about anything. I felt sick to my stomach and wanted to tell him right then but I was afraid that he would get mad and go off on me. I already felt like his dirty little slut but I didn't want to hear him call me that. Before I found out I was pregnant things were starting to get back to normal between the two of us. I don't want to ruin that but should he know the truth?
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Re: Pregnant by my Father, Should I tell him? - August 23rd 2011, 07:41 PM

Are you planning on keeping the baby?

If the answer is yes, I think eventually he is going to have to know.

You can't keep things like this hidden forever.

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Re: Pregnant by my Father, Should I tell him? - August 23rd 2011, 11:02 PM

Sweetheart, the thing is that babies that are born of 2 family members usually end up with some kind of disability or deformity. You need to talk to someone about this and decide if you are going to be able to handle that. Whether or not to keep the baby is something you need to think about, whether you abort the pregnancy or have the baby and then give him/her to a family that can take care of it.

You need to contact police about the things your dad is doing to you. No questions asked, you need to go to the police/ child protective services. That baby is evidence now to this abuse by your dad...When the baby is born, it's DNA will show that your dad is the father, and that is all the evidence they need to prove that he's hurting you. You MUST do this, or else the abuse will never stop.

If you need to talk more, PM me anytime. <3

Take care love.
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Re: Pregnant by my Father, Should I tell him? - August 24th 2011, 05:51 AM

well first off your not his dirty little slut. its not your fault he did this to you, it is his. secondly i know im young but someone in my family has gone threw something similar. her step dad did the same thing to her but luckly she did not end up in the situation you are in at the moment of being pregnant. so i know what you are going threw. she didnt tell anyone untill her mom and her got in a huge fight about it and she blurted it out, her mom asked him if it was true and he said no and that night he ended up beating her for telling. after that she told her mom again and what he had done to her the night before, her mom didnt believe her so she went to the police about it. i think thats exactly what you should do about this. when you and your mom or someone very close to you in your family go shopping or doing something without him and only the two of you, you should most definitly tell them and they may help you a little bit better with this problem. another thing to do is when your out with friends you could go to the police or if you drive you can just go yourself and say your meeting up with some friends. if he doesnt know your going to somebody like the police he cant get mad until they are there. and when they are there, nothing bad can possibly happen to you. but waiting untill you have the baby (if you havent allready had it) to do something about this or tell your father he's the father, i dont think would be a very good idea. but sooner or later your going to have to tell somebody and do something about it. it cant be yours and his dirty little secret forever. if you keep it like that, it will never go away.

best of luck, hope i helped
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Re: Pregnant by my Father, Should I tell him? - August 26th 2011, 06:45 AM

I would talk to the police. What he did to you was wrong, it was against your will, and you do not deserve to have to hold onto this fact for the rest of your life. You are not his dirty slut, you are a human being, and deserve to be treated with respect, particularly by your own father. If he is still sending you signals, he has not changed, and needs to be arrested before he hurts you or somebody else again.

You also need to decide quick what you want to do about the baby. You still have many options, though I understand if you are not up to some, but you do need to know the consequences for keeping the child could be birth defects and serious mental defects you'll have to deal with for the rest of your life. But it's your decision.

I'm sorry for what has happened, and if I seem overbearing, but I just want you to know that you are not in the wrong, he is. You are a beautiful person, stay strong, and message me if you need anything.

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Re: Pregnant by my Father, Should I tell him? - September 4th 2011, 02:06 AM

I highly suggest against talking to him about it being his before you tell the police. Just incase he ends up hurting you because of it. The police will make sure he does not end up doing anything harmful to you. Tell him when you are with the police or with your mother, someone who he would not hurt you infront of. Good luck.

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Re: Pregnant by my Father, Should I tell him? - September 4th 2011, 03:35 AM

You need to tell someone about this as soon as possible. Please tell the police or a teacher, guidance counselor, doctor, school nurse, or anyone else who can help you. Your mother needs to know, but sometimes it is hard for close relatives to know what to do, because they are close to both people involved. I think it would be best for you to tell someone outside of your family first, so then they can help you tell your mom, and support you while you do so. You really need to do this ASAP!
If you need to talk we're all here. I wish you the best, and remeber none of this is your fault!
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Re: Pregnant by my Father, Should I tell him? - September 5th 2011, 06:54 AM


Due to the fact that your father is abusive, I do not recommend telling him before telling anyone else. As shown by his abusive history, it is possible that he would either become violent or degrade you. I believe that the best option is to tell another family member or to even tell someone (preferably an adult) about this situation. It is also crucial that you get the police involved because you will be bringing a child into the world and it is important that they grow up in the healthiest environment possible.

In addition to these things, it is also important that you inform your doctor that the father of your child is your father. It is possible that the child could have some form of deformity or disability due to the fact that the child is a product of incest. This information will aid the doctor in helping him decide the best care for you during pregnancy to ensure that your child is as healthy as possible.
Good luck and stay strong.

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