Binge eating disorder

[charmbraceletxo]

Hello, all! I'm seeking some help/advice/support in terms of being conducive to my boyfriend's recovery from binge eating disorder. He's been struggling with compulsive over-eating since childhood, but in recent years, it's manifested itself as a full-blown binge eating disorder. He only recently agreed to see a school counselor at his college (he comes from a rather emotionally-unresponsive family, as they've always berated him for his sensitivity and eating behaviors)--and while he's become increasingly self-aware throughout the past couple of months, I'm likewise finding it increasingly difficult to deal with the delicate nature of the situation and his emotions. While I, myself, struggled with an eating disorder (the restrictive-type) as an adolescent (not to mention self-injury and recurring bouts of depression--even now), I can never seem to *encourage* him in an emotionally-sound way. As it seems, I tend to say and do things that render stress--thus, compelling him to eat more--and leave him completely helpless/hopeless. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I've been trying to conquer an emotional problem with logic, and given the emotionally-sensitive nature of his problem, it just isn't effective. Needless to say, I've tried relating it to my past issues with cutting and food-restriction, but I feel that our limited proximity makes it exceptionally difficult to NOT be emotionally invested (for instance, I find myself becoming frustrated and angry at the sight of him binging).

Can anyone offer me advice pertaining to this issue? I've conducted rather extensive research online, and yet I still can't seem to get a handle on this :/

[charmbraceletxo]

Advice anyone? Or is this a rarer eating problem than most?

[DivingCheska]

I have no clue how well this is going to help you but I can tell you binge eating disorder is actually one of the more common eating disorders people just don't take it seriously. I myself am diagnosed as EDNOS but with in that I am a binge eater and I restrict constantly. I know that I want to stop eating at times but when I start i just can't seem to stop. All you can do I think is try and be supportive have him talk to you and a counclor I'm sorry I'm not much help I honestly DON'T understand my eating disorder all that much but I have read about it a lot and if you want you can message me on here or you have my facebook and aim and I'll give you the sites that go into more details

sorry if this doesn't help Brianna

[Angel]

BED is not that rare as far as I'm aware. Up to 4% of Americans suffer from binge eating disorder.

It is great that your boyfriend is getting help from his school's counselor. Since you have also had an eating disorder, it may be helpful to look at it this way- he needs the same kindness and understanding that you have needed while you were restricting. I'm not quite sure what else you can do besides being supportive of him, even through his slip ups and bad days. Let him know that you love him and want to see him get better.

[charmbraceletxo]

Thanks, guys. The support means a lot. I, myself, am starting to experience the same eating disorder symptoms that I experienced a few years ago--so that empathy is coming back. It's just so difficult--I'm trying to become as familiarized with/educated about binge eating disorder...I just haven't know anyone else with the disorder.

[DivingCheska]

Originally Posted by charmbraceletxo

Thanks, guys. The support means a lot. I, myself, am starting to experience the same eating disorder symptoms that I experienced a few years ago--so that empathy is coming back. It's just so difficult--I'm trying to become as familiarized with/educated about binge eating disorder...I just haven't know anyone else with the disorder.

Aw you have been doing so good please don't go back to your old habits. If you need anyone to talk to you always no I'm here:]

[Angel]

Originally Posted by charmbraceletxo

Thanks, guys. The support means a lot. I, myself, am starting to experience the same eating disorder symptoms that I experienced a few years ago--so that empathy is coming back. It's just so difficult--I'm trying to become as familiarized with/educated about binge eating disorder...I just haven't know anyone else with the disorder.

Have you thought about exploring or joining eating disordered communities, if you have not already? There are many of them online, and I am part of one. There are many wonderful people to be met, coming from all walks of life. Perhaps speaking to someone with BED/COE can help you gain some insight to what he is thinking and what he is going through.

[charmbraceletxo]

That's a good suggestion, Angel. I've considered it--but wouldn't it be more beneficial if he, himself, joined one?

[Angel]

Originally Posted by charmbraceletxo

That's a good suggestion, Angel. I've considered it--but wouldn't it be more beneficial if he, himself, joined one?

It couldn't hurt to bring it up in conversation. I suggested you join one because you mentioned that you don't know anyone else with BED. The only thing is, many of these communities are made up of women. If your boyfriend doesn't mind, this might be a good option for him to consider!

Not all communities are alike. I've heard from people I know that some of the forums they've joined online can be very aggressive in forcing recovery, to the point that they make those who "slip up" feel worse about themselves. You should do some research beforehand to make sure the community that you've chosen fits your ideologies.

Good luck, and take care. x