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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Parents - November 13th 2018, 10:06 PM

Why do my parents get ticked off whenever I want to treat myself? Like this weekend, I bought a new record player, record, and build a bear because I didn't have any bills coming out of this paycheck and I already have some money saved for a car, and I always offer to help my parents when they need money; so why? I'm being very responsible about it, I made sure everything was paid and I still put back an amount for a new car. I also got everything on sale so it's not like I got crazy. I have a good job now, working towards a new car and a place for myself, so why are they being like this?


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Re: Parents - November 14th 2018, 08:58 PM

Hey there, I think it's great you're being financially responsible. This does not mean never spending any money, but rather budgeting what you have and setting aside a designated amount for spending while still keeping money in your bank account. There is absolutely nothing wrong with treating yourself.

With that being said, I can understand why your parents are upset. When I treat myself, I do it sporadically; such as, once every few months or so. I don't treat myself to a huge amount (or multiple purchases) at one time. But this is because I have such a tight budget and I really do have to watch what I spend per month. So it takes several months for it to build up to an amount I am satisfied with. For you, you might have more lee-way in your bank account and are able to spend more at once.

The best thing you can do is sit down with your parents and talk to them. Perhaps plan out a budget whether that be in an Excel document or on paper, and present it to them. Prove to them how you are being financially responsible.
   
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Re: Parents - November 14th 2018, 09:19 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Breathe and Believe View Post
Why do my parents get ticked off whenever I want to treat myself? Like this weekend, I bought a new record player, record, and build a bear because I didn't have any bills coming out of this paycheck and I already have some money saved for a car, and I always offer to help my parents when they need money; so why? I'm being very responsible about it, I made sure everything was paid and I still put back an amount for a new car. I also got everything on sale so it's not like I got crazy. I have a good job now, working towards a new car and a place for myself, so why are they being like this?
It seems like you have a great head on your shoulders and a financially responsible and you are also an adult yourself. I don't understand why parents have to gripe about things for the sake of griping. Why couldn't couldn't they congratulate you for being financially responsible in getting those other things secure before going out and buying things for yourself. Sometimes you just have to put things past you and move on I guess. I also agree talking with them would be a good start. You have an advantage over someone like me because you are an adult and I am a kid.
   
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Re: Parents - November 15th 2018, 06:36 PM

You're 27 right? I find it odd that you're parents would feel like they get to have such power over their child, though you do mention that you help them financially too. Is it possible that the problem is that they were expecting you to be setting aside more money just in case they need your help and by treating yourself on a pricier item, they feel like you're not being responsible enough (versus not responsible at all???)

Obviously that's unfair, as you're paying your bills. If you had children and it was their needs you might be neglecting in order to buy a record I'd be like "ok yeah, they should be pissed as your child is dependent on you and can't compensate for your spending" but your parents are adults, and while it's nice if you can help them when they need it, you shouldn't be obligated too. You certainly shouldn't stop living your life because of them.

There could be other reasons why they react this way, but based on what you've told us, I can't help but wonder if they're own financial situation contributes to their reaction.

Even if you're sure that's not why, I think that you just need to brush it off and stand up for yourself. Parents are still humans, you know, they don't always do things right or rationally, and this might be one of those things where you need to evaluate what you are doing -- your credit card is paid off, you've paid your bills, for food, and monthly payments on loans, if applicable, you have a savings account, you budget your spending etc -- and from there, you made a calculated decision that this is something you could get right now, and that's that.
   
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Re: Parents - December 14th 2018, 10:53 AM

Fully agree with Latte. If discontent arises regularly, you need to show all your calculations once and ask them why they are so angry.
   
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Re: Parents - January 1st 2019, 08:23 PM

I think that your parents will understand when you tell them about this problem
   
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