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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Ted - March 19th 2021, 11:25 AM

A month ago the staff of The Hole were arrested and thrown in the slammer for Grievous Bodily Harm to minors, Sexual Abuse to minors and 'Incitement To Violence' on some other pretext. My bestie who killed herself was bullied not only by other orphans, but also the staff. You bet they are going to pay for what they did.



Ted arrived last Wednesday, not tomorrow as was expected. Eventually, now we are together again our nightmares will go away. But what I wasn't expecting was seeing him pushing himself towards me in a wheelchair.



One of the staff members who worked at The Hole pushed him down steps, injuring his spine which caused his legs to stop working. The steps like all inside The Hole, were made of stone as were the floors. Cold hard stone. Ted managed to get his phone out and called Swiss Ambulance Rescue. Shortly after they arrived, the police, or "Fedpoles" arrived and arrested many of the staff. Ted was put on a gurney and helicoptered to hospital.



The Hole was demolished. It looked liked a forbidding castle, the type seen in a horror film. How I wished I'd been there, wearing a hard hat and smashing the **** out of place with a JCB. The Hole that had served as an orphanage for three decades has since been leveled to the ground. The news made the canton newspapers, and then there was a press blackout, because the orphans, all of them minors, will be going to a closed court hearing to give evidence, including Ted and me, when we're due to be summoned.



I've never told anyone this, but Ted and I have been in a relationship for four years. We never had many arguments. He looks like a mangled teddy bear. He's not a good looker, but that's nothing to me. Ted has a big heart. He's gentle, though not a pushover. He'll stand his ground even to me and some of you know what a gob****e I am. Ted's got kind amber eyes and floppy hair the colour of autumn leaves. He's just one big cuddlesome bear. The day we met was the day we fell in love. Since we got sprung from The Hole, he and I are having counselling. Now he's here, he'll be having sessions with the same lady as me. She's a lovely lady. Says I'm doing well.



Now before anyone gets their oar in, Ted and I have never had a sexual relationship. We were too young anyway. Sure we've had kisses and cuddles, but in the dark of the night when we wept, cuddled up. We survived by having each other's back, sneaking in to the other's bedroom at night. Just being snuggled together to keep the spooks from haunting us. And the screams, often in the middle of the pitch black night. Smoking helped get my stress down in that horrible place. Please, don't even think about private messaging me, getting on my back and slapping me down with petty platitudes in a tirade against smoking or cuddling or you'll get a nasty reply and I'll make you sit up a bit.



I'm not going to write about The Hole because you won't sleep at night. I can't even get past the first page, so Wendi and Julie said don't bother. It's all in the past now. But The Hole will never be forgotten for the lives of young people it ruined.



Good news is Ted did have an operation in Switzerland and he's having other op next week which, with physiotherapy, should make him able to walk again. In the meantime we're continuing counselling.



Ted gave me a beautiful vintage Gretsch which Leonardo helped him select. It's a special present for us finally, finally being reunited together. The guitar's sound is mellow. It sounds as sweet as a nut. Such a pleasure to play. A lovely gift from my beautiful guy.



We'll be starting a new school this September. In the meantime Ted will need to readjust, get used to living in Monaco with me and my family. My awesome family. He already knew about my mother Anna. I love that he's so cool about it. What exactly it is, is private, but of little consequence to our family, Leonardo included.



I've had to give up Law. The pressure was causing me to burn out. That's why I've ceased the relentless coursework and homework. Instead, I've the option of teaching languages and English and French Literature. I'd love to teach. I think I'll have a lot to share.



That's all. Got to go now and have late lunch. I'll be back some time. Don't know when.
   
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Re: Ted - March 19th 2021, 12:12 PM

It sounds like both you and Ted have been through an awful lot, and I'm sorry to hear he was so badly injured. Hopefully this will be a brand new start for him, you, and the other people who have been hurt. You definitely don't have to share anything which upsets you to write about. The things you've been through is your pain, and as long as you're dealing with it in a healthy way, you can process it and share it as much or as little as you need in order to heal. So don't worry about writing anything down if it hurts you to do so.

Also, you're very young still. you don't need to give up on anything, whether it's law or any other dream. There are many years in which you'll have time to really dedicate long hours toworking on a profession, but at your age, you should enjoy learning a bit of everything and exploring options without feeling the need to dedicate your life to it. Be easy on yourself. Take time for you as well as for your work. Even an academic needs a break. But teaching sounds like a really rewarding job to persue, so whichever route you take I know you'll be great at it. Just remember to be kind to yourself too.



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Re: Ted - March 19th 2021, 07:42 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Everglow. View Post
It sounds like both you and Ted have been through an awful lot, and I'm sorry to hear he was so badly injured. Hopefully this will be a brand new start for him, you, and the other people who have been hurt. You definitely don't have to share anything which upsets you to write about. The things you've been through is your pain, and as long as you're dealing with it in a healthy way, you can process it and share it as much or as little as you need in order to heal. So don't worry about writing anything down if it hurts you to do so.

Also, you're very young still. you don't need to give up on anything, whether it's law or any other dream. There are many years in which you'll have time to really dedicate long hours toworking on a profession, but at your age, you should enjoy learning a bit of everything and exploring options without feeling the need to dedicate your life to it. Be easy on yourself. Take time for you as well as for your work. Even an academic needs a break. But teaching sounds like a really rewarding job to persue, so whichever route you take I know you'll be great at it. Just remember to be kind to yourself too.
Though Ted has prescribed painkillers that dull his pain, he continues to get night terrors like me, so we snuggle together as we have always done. Sometimes when one of us wakes screaming, the other will soothe and take away the nightmare. It's an ongoing, nightly situation but tomorrow Ted and I will be seeing our doctor who said she has a temporary medicine, an hypnotic of sorts that can block these vivid, anguishing dreams and may, with further therapy, someone who she will refer us to, help us find ways of ....coping.

I went to sleep two hours ago but woke screaming, and here I am with Ted sitting next to me and we are enjoying cops of hot chocolate. Then I remembered I owe you, and so here I am.

Believe me I will be easy on myself and certainly not be writing about The Hole. Or anything that draws up emotional pain. Same for Ted when he read your kind post, he agreed. He also thought that teaching would be a good career choice for me. He's musically very talented so the the school we will be going to will cater for both of us in that subject while I concentrate on the beauty of writing, which my sisters praise both of us for.

This afternoon Ted and I went out, down to the harbour to admire the yachts moored up and then we wheeled along the quayside to stop at a caff our family like. It's their favourite, probably because the caff's owner doesn't charge double - or even triple the price for a cup of Joe or a hot chocolate topped with real cream with a chocolate flake to dip in.

We spent all afternoon outside, but having to wear masks. Ted made me laugh when he made a small hole in his mask so to suck up the unctuous hot chocolate. Did he make laugh?! He said when he's able to walk again, to don protective gear and go skateboarding with me. Protective gear also to cover his spinal area, just in case.

My dearest sweetheart now has a family. Something he hasn't had since his parents were killed in a road crash. Ted loves our family. Likeable, he gets on with everyone.

Thank you for everything you wrote. Tomorrow I'll be chatting again, but now we must return to bed. Goodnight and sweet dreams.
   
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Re: Ted - March 24th 2021, 05:47 PM

Ted's operation on his spine was successful said his consultant surgeon. Now my brave boyfriend is having to get over the affect of his general anesthetic. We were told it may hang around causing some confusion, but he's doing well. I'm very relieved it's all over. Soon he'll have some physio.
   
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Re: Ted - March 25th 2021, 10:07 PM

This is wonderful news, Tommy. I'm so glad it went well. I hope the side effects wear off quickly and he does okay with his physio. Wishing him the best.



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The things you donít need to liveó
books, art, cinema, wine, and so onó
are the things you need to live
.

- Matt Haig


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Re: Ted - March 26th 2021, 06:55 AM

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This is wonderful news, Tommy. I'm so glad it went well. I hope the side effects wear off quickly and he does okay with his physio. Wishing him the best.
I just have thanks, and he thanks you. But Ted's been vomiting. It's the side effect of this awful anesthetic. Add in my anxiousness and feelings of yuk, ick and everything else, we're not the best pair.

The doctor gave an anti-emetic to Ted, and then 20 minutes later returned to give me one of these tablets - she'd only gone and phoned my sisters, asking permission.

Do you know, it's just occurred to me that presently, you're the only one here who has time to talk to me. I feel very lonely on the forums. It's not a pleasant feeling posting, and nobody answers except you.

   
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Re: Ted - March 27th 2021, 02:22 AM

I'm sorry to hear what you and Ted have been through. I can't imagine what you had to deal with. Please ensure you are taking care of yourself.


   
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Re: Ted - March 27th 2021, 09:56 AM

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I'm sorry to hear what you and Ted have been through. I can't imagine what you had to deal with. Please ensure you are taking care of yourself.

Thank you, we are.
   
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