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Why Me? Here is a safe space to let it all out, where you can rant about all the bad things life throws your way. Sometimes it just helps to ask "why me?"
Re: Screaming thread. -
December 26th 2015, 08:27 AM
I need to stop eating, but I'm hungry! It's nice of you to think of the fact that I might want to use the money from you to get mom something, but I think it's a little weird, and I know you told me to "make sure you spend most of it on yourself though." You know once you give me the money, it's mine to spend however I want.
I didn't mean to do that for attention or to upset anyone, sorry. I need 2016 to be a better year. Things really couldn't get worse, but I need open doors so I can start functioning again. And no, interviews with no job offers don't count as open doors.
See, it' s not just me, it sucks that it took this to get you to handle it yourself, but I'm glad you're not making me do it again (because obviously it does no good).
The only thing those tell me is that I should go for something I've already failed at or can't do. My life is going to suck because of this and I don't know how long I'll be able to put up with that.
I guess it's worth looking into, I can contact him and see if and what kind of response I get. So far it's the only thing I know of that will let me do everything I want without getting forced out for the stuff I've already failed at. I probably have no chance, but without ordering my transcripts and calculating my GPA I have no idea what it actually is. I guess the question is, am I going to regret not at least trying it? At least if she fixes the insurance, I can finally get back into professional help.
Member Since: September 19, 2007
LHO: March 31, 2008- October 13, 2012
"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you." Jean Paul Sarte
Last edited by Kate*; December 29th 2015 at 07:15 AM.
Re: Screaming thread. -
December 26th 2015, 12:31 PM
I'm gonna need you tomorrow or the next day, I know I've always been your friendly guy to talk to but I simply need this off my shoulders and maybe you can bear some weight onto me, since I'm always here to help you huh? I always will be...
Re: Screaming thread. -
December 28th 2015, 04:25 AM
I feel so... terrible, I'm sorry I had to leave you but you made your choice and you need to realize that it's been in effect. I accepted that you hated me and didn't wanna talk to me so I can't go back to talking to you, it's too painful. You'll hurt me again and I'm not going to let it happen.
Re: Screaming thread. -
December 29th 2015, 04:59 AM
Holy crap i almost carved something into the side of my arm. Seriously what the fuck?!? Where is that coming from? With a cross no less. Whats happening to me? at least five times today ive gone through scenarios in my head of me falling off bridges and crashing into something. Litteraly of me dieing. Again, questioning why im still here. I imagine my self dying and nearly cut my arm with the pin of a cross what the fuck is happening to me? I either need to get help or get out of this house, and both are impossible.
I know you are looking for a sea that lies beyond your reach
But im hoping my heart can stop you before you reach the beach
I know you have places to go
I know that you want the sea
But im hoping my heart will grow and that you'll
come back to me.....
Re: Screaming thread. -
December 30th 2015, 12:07 AM
Note to self: Alright! Cool the fuck down!
There is nothing wrong, you'll get your news about it sooner or later so quit being a worrying wreck and just stay calm.
Re: Screaming thread. -
December 31st 2015, 08:35 AM
Go to bed between 4:30 and 5AM
Fall asleep at 6AM
Awake again at 11AM with depressing and dangerous thoughts
Back asleep by 12PM
Sleep until 4PM
Wake up in pain with a headache
This pattern NEEDS TO STOP, serves as an amazing escape, but it's miserable.
My invisible disability is more real than anyone else's right to speak for me.
So, since this is the first day in a while that I only got 3 hours of sleep, the neighbors decide to cut the grass in the freezing cold.
I guess I'm getting up after almost no sleep (and yes, a headache); perfect.
NO, I DO NOT want to eat homemade dip containing large amounts of mayonnaise that expired in SEPTEMBER! I won't risk ringing in the new year with food poisoning.
The ONE night a year you don't want to be tired at midnight and I'm falling asleep! What the hell?!
Member Since: September 19, 2007
LHO: March 31, 2008- October 13, 2012
"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you." Jean Paul Sarte
Last edited by Kate*; January 1st 2016 at 02:28 AM.
Re: Screaming thread. -
December 31st 2015, 09:28 AM
It's 2am and I'm wide awake again. This is not working at all. Watch me not fall asleep till 4-6 like the last few days and up again less than an hour after.
something sure sounds inviting right about now.
Re: Screaming thread. -
January 1st 2016, 11:56 AM
My anxiety is so bad right now and I don't know how to cope. I'm freaking out over stupid stuff and now my mind is making me focus on negative thoughts that are just freaking me out more.
Re: Screaming thread. -
January 1st 2016, 04:40 PM
Fuck everything. I just want to be back at school already. I'm not looking forward to work this week. Thank God it's the last week. Ugh. I'm so sick of everyone to be honest. I just want to talk to someone about all this shit that's going on but everyone on my support team is on break and not reading emails (which is okay. They have lives. They can't be expected to come to my every need. I can't expect that.)
"You'll have to decide for yourself. Walk on your own. Move forward. You've got a strong pair of legs, Rose. You should get up and use them."
Re: Screaming thread. -
January 1st 2016, 07:19 PM
Back home with my parents. May well have a carbon monoxide leak at home. May well be the reason my hamster died two months ago. Fucking landlord needs to sort his crap out.
Re: Screaming thread. -
January 2nd 2016, 03:23 AM
God, please help these people. Help us all.
And, im sorry. Please, i just want to go home.no one hears me anyway, i just want to go home.
I know you are looking for a sea that lies beyond your reach
But im hoping my heart can stop you before you reach the beach
I know you have places to go
I know that you want the sea
But im hoping my heart will grow and that you'll
come back to me.....
Re: Screaming thread. -
January 2nd 2016, 03:39 AM
LISTEN PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD
....slowly losing my mind and any hope of ever being sane...
LISTEN
LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN PLEASE
Please i beg you someone actually listen to me for once i would be so happy to find the one person who actualy wouldnt mind genuinely listening to what i have to say.
For the sake of my sanity please dont ignore me
"Mom and dad think im neglecting you, but thats not right, is it?" WHAT THE FUCK?!?
Everyone neglects me. You seriously have never seen me be pushed to the corner and ignored by our entire family? Are you serious?
i might as well not exist at all, it wouldnt make much of a difference if i did.
I dont matter. This whole rant? Yeah it means nothing because no one cares either way. Your life is a joke.
I know you are looking for a sea that lies beyond your reach
But im hoping my heart can stop you before you reach the beach
I know you have places to go
I know that you want the sea
But im hoping my heart will grow and that you'll
come back to me.....
Re: Screaming thread. -
January 2nd 2016, 04:37 PM
Well, that resolve lasted all of 30 seconds. I'm finally giving myself permission to do the one thing I said I never do, I'm giving up. There really is no point in torturing myself anymore. It's not like I'll ever actually succeed. Ironically it was the life-saving measures that ruined my quality of life. I've seen enough to know that it's time to quit.
Now I remember why I blocked you. You will not ruin my day.
Life with this means I was screwed from day one regardless but I wish I could go back and tell you to your face how badly you fucked me over. The fact that I considered legal action and that I'm not the only one with grounds for a lawsuit brings me at least a little comfort.
Member Since: September 19, 2007
LHO: March 31, 2008- October 13, 2012
"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you." Jean Paul Sarte
Last edited by Kate*; January 5th 2016 at 02:39 PM.
Re: Screaming thread. -
January 3rd 2016, 02:36 AM
You are probably the worst person.
Anxious and not even cuddling helped. Why does this anxiety make me feel like I want to die. I'm literally so anxious and so sick that being alive is unbearable.
Last edited by DeletedAccount69; January 3rd 2016 at 06:18 AM.