Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!) As a guest you can submit help requests, create and reply to Forum posts, join our Chat Room and read our range of articles & resources. By registering you will be able to get fully involved in our community and enjoy features such as connect with members worldwide, add friends & send messages, express yourself through a Blog, find others with similar interests in Social Groups, post pictures and links, set up a profile and more! Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!
Why Me? Here is a safe space to let it all out, where you can rant about all the bad things life throws your way. Sometimes it just helps to ask "why me?"
Re: Screaming thread. -
October 1st 2018, 04:22 PM
What is life without a shard of enjoyment in anything I do or in any second that passes? Is it anything more than a mutation, a flawed element that never should have entered this world?
Re: Screaming thread. -
October 2nd 2018, 01:08 AM
I keep thinking that I deserve to be dead.
I also keep wondering if it's depression that makes reading difficult. I go from one book and another without ever finishing them.
Re: Screaming thread. -
October 2nd 2018, 03:03 AM
My complete lack of expected emotion is freaking me out. This wasn't the funeral I expected not to cry at and she wasn't the loss I expected not to grieve, but here we are. Could be meds, could be frustration, could be that we were as ready she was for her to go.
Member Since: September 19, 2007
LHO: March 31, 2008- October 13, 2012
"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you." Jean Paul Sarte
Last edited by Kate*; October 2nd 2018 at 06:21 AM.
Re: Screaming thread. -
October 2nd 2018, 05:49 AM
nothing like finding instant aesthetic attraction to someone and getting home and looking in the mirror and knowing there’s no way they’d ever ever ever find you attractive
Re: Screaming thread. -
October 2nd 2018, 01:37 PM
Stop saying I can do it! I can't fucking do it! Maybe that's why I'm fucking panicking about not being able to handle all this! I can't do it anymore. Why can't everyone just listen and validate my feelings instead of trying to give me inspirational bullshit as if I just need fucking motivation and this isn't fucking unreasonable. You have no fucking idea what it's like. You haven't experienced even a quarter of this. I'm so done. I really wish I could take something for this panic, but I can't treat my anxiety with benzos, so there's nothing to help enough.I'm at a loss. I really just want to end it. And maybe I will. Because 85% of my entire fucking insanity semester is due in 2.5-4 weeks and I'm way far behind with no hope of getting caught up.
"Just open your eyes and see that life is beautiful..." ~Sixx:A.M.
Re: Screaming thread. -
October 5th 2018, 10:59 AM
Only a few more weeks or so before I can maybe take a single day off to let myself be sick. Until then it's 10-12 hours per day, 7 days a week. MINIMUM. My body won't do it, but I have to otherwise I'll fail multiple classes. Must be thst I'm lazy though. Not because I'm really sick and even healthy people would be super overwhlemed by this. Yet they say "same" and "you can do it!" Fucking stop with that bullshit. I'm trying not to die. But x wasn't good enough and I should've put more time into it. Fuck off.
"Just open your eyes and see that life is beautiful..." ~Sixx:A.M.
Re: Screaming thread. -
October 9th 2018, 10:52 PM
I ruin everything for everyone and they'd all enjoy their time more if it wasn't for me. I should disappear. Everyone would be happier and nobody would care.
Re: Screaming thread. -
October 11th 2018, 08:52 AM
So tired I nearly missed my station on the train. Meeting after work too so not even going to be able to chill at home until about 9 today. Already had enough.
Re: Screaming thread. -
October 12th 2018, 07:21 AM
You'd better not bitch at me for being off one of my meds when I see you next week, because by that time I will have called you at least twice to fix the fact that I have RUN OUT of them. This one is on you!
Member Since: September 19, 2007
LHO: March 31, 2008- October 13, 2012
"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you." Jean Paul Sarte
Re: Screaming thread. -
October 12th 2018, 12:37 PM
Not at all ready for this exam that's in less than 2 hours.. And I'm panicking too much to study. And I haven't studied enough because of exhaustion and anxiety because I can't get enough done because I'm too sick but no one cares.
"Just open your eyes and see that life is beautiful..." ~Sixx:A.M.
Re: Screaming thread. -
October 12th 2018, 09:53 PM
Living off of caffeine pills and sugar to maybe barely get by... Getting more and more side effects. Starting to get chest pain and getting brief occasional visual and tactile hallucinations. I'm accidentally tearing at my skin because I'm so itchy from the caffeine.
Way behind on sleep too. I'm so dead I can't function. Too bad. I'll rest when I'm dead. Maybe literally..
Oh and tomorrow won't be any better.
"Just open your eyes and see that life is beautiful..." ~Sixx:A.M.