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Why Me? Here is a safe space to let it all out, where you can rant about all the bad things life throws your way. Sometimes it just helps to ask "why me?"
According to my parents, a month of rest means I can't experience symptoms of my chronic illness--that I have been experiencing for the past 15 years of my life.
"Just open your eyes and see that life is beautiful..." ~Sixx:A.M.
Headache and shivery while trying to do uni work...no fun. Also missing someone but can't tell them because they might be ignoring me and I'll end up bothering them. Feel like crap.
My parents are still trying to manipulate me into working for them right now. I can't even get chores and hobbies done in the 6 hours/day I am moderately functional lately.
They also keep trying to meet up to hang out and guilt trip me for saying "no, there's a pandemic, we are from different households now, we need to stay home so we can all stay healthy." Like????
"Just open your eyes and see that life is beautiful..." ~Sixx:A.M.
Getting bitched at for not following the rules when other people get away with not following the rules seems to be a theme and I'm sick of it. If I'm stuck back there tomorrow after you went off on me today, I swear to God I'll walk.
Member Since: September 19, 2007
LHO: March 31, 2008- October 13, 2012
"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you." Jean Paul Sarte
This is making me so mad. They've literally said, don't travel unless it's essential, and yet you're flying home so you can see your family. I'd love to see mine, but I can't. Why are you any different to anybody else in the world right now? Now my sister is either going to be on her own, or she has to come home until this is all over which puts us at risk. People are so selfish, I'm sick of it.
Since lockdown started I've had 3 dreams about people who arent here anymore. All of them involved me just sitting and chatting to them. I miss you so so much.
One of the many things I hate about this is that I have the big ideas without a clue how to make them happen. I can't be the only one affected by this, but are there enough for it to be a real thing, probably not.
Member Since: September 19, 2007
LHO: March 31, 2008- October 13, 2012
"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you." Jean Paul Sarte
Why do I keep circling back to these stupid thoughts? I was doing okay until these crap thoughts came into my mind, making me question everything, whether it's worth it, whether I'm just being silly and am expecting too much etc.
I have to do a presentation..so I'll just add preparing for that to my list of deadlines and predicted meltdowns. I'm so fucking close to a breakdown. I cant do this.
Each walk outside might be my last. Ever. I try to enjoy every second of it to the fullest. No one cares if I die. I don't want to, but if I have to go back to work onsite in 2 days, I will get COVID-19 and probably die. It's just a fact to come to terms with. Hate my disability for making it difficult to enjoy what could be my last couple weeks of life before I die from this because of my disability.
"Just open your eyes and see that life is beautiful..." ~Sixx:A.M.