Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.

[Dawn.]

I just want to hear back from potential employers already.

[Tigereyes]

According to my parents, a month of rest means I can't experience symptoms of my chronic illness--that I have been experiencing for the past 15 years of my life.

I am feeling really off today. I hope I wake up tomorrow and feel better. Yesterday was a good day.


It feels so uncertain and that is what I am struggling with. No one knows

[Celyn]

Headache and shivery while trying to do uni work...no fun. Also missing someone but can't tell them because they might be ignoring me and I'll end up bothering them. Feel like crap.

[Tigereyes]

My parents are still trying to manipulate me into working for them right now. I can't even get chores and hobbies done in the 6 hours/day I am moderately functional lately.

They also keep trying to meet up to hang out and guilt trip me for saying "no, there's a pandemic, we are from different households now, we need to stay home so we can all stay healthy." Like????

[Everglow.]

I'm not feeling so great today. Motivations out the window again.

[Dawn.]

I wish I could figure out what to do.

[Kate*]

Getting bitched at for not following the rules when other people get away with not following the rules seems to be a theme and I'm sick of it. If I'm stuck back there tomorrow after you went off on me today, I swear to God I'll walk.

[Dawn.]

I just want to sleep.

[Everglow.]

This is making me so mad. They've literally said, don't travel unless it's essential, and yet you're flying home so you can see your family. I'd love to see mine, but I can't. Why are you any different to anybody else in the world right now? Now my sister is either going to be on her own, or she has to come home until this is all over which puts us at risk. People are so selfish, I'm sick of it.

[Everglow.]

Since lockdown started I've had 3 dreams about people who arent here anymore. All of them involved me just sitting and chatting to them. I miss you so so much.

[Celyn]

I think these essays are my worst. I just can't do this anymore. Getting fed up now. Academia is not for me.

Sometimes I want something more.

[Dawn.]

I hope these lifted restrictions will cause a spike.

[Dawn.]

I hope things get better soon.

[Kate*]

I am not responsible for managing your anxiety. I have my hands full with my own.

[Tigereyes]

So tired, but severe painsomnia. No, tomorrow won't be better as I had hoped.

Idk what to do..

[Kate*]

One of the many things I hate about this is that I have the big ideas without a clue how to make them happen. I can't be the only one affected by this, but are there enough for it to be a real thing, probably not.

[Odyne]

Things are just hard..

[Tigereyes]

Still sick of being so sick with no hope of feeling better

[Odyne]

Why?!?!?

[Celyn]

Why do I keep circling back to these stupid thoughts? I was doing okay until these crap thoughts came into my mind, making me question everything, whether it's worth it, whether I'm just being silly and am expecting too much etc.

[Odyne]

Things are hard today
I hope it's better tomorrow.

[Dawn.]

I really hope I get a positive outcome.

[Tigereyes]

If I'm going to die, I'd rather just get it over with than wait for the inevitable

[Odyne]

I'm so sick of this.

[Tigereyes]

Got yelled at too. I'm so done with today.

[Celyn]

I have a headache. Hope tomorrow is a better day.

[Odyne]

I feel SO FAT

[Everglow.]

This uni work is breaking me. Every time I think I'm nearly there I realise I've done it wrong. I can't wait for this course to be over.

I swear I'm getting better. I know it doesn't look like it but I swear.

I don't want to live in a group home.

I'm disgusting

[Dawn.]

I want to be more motivated.

[Everglow.]

I have to do a presentation..so I'll just add preparing for that to my list of deadlines and predicted meltdowns. I'm so fucking close to a breakdown. I cant do this.

[Tigereyes]

Each walk outside might be my last. Ever. I try to enjoy every second of it to the fullest. No one cares if I die. I don't want to, but if I have to go back to work onsite in 2 days, I will get COVID-19 and probably die. It's just a fact to come to terms with. Hate my disability for making it difficult to enjoy what could be my last couple weeks of life before I die from this because of my disability.

[Everglow.]

Why am I so clumsy? Just add to my joke of a life by falling over. Again.

[Kate*]

Another night of existential crisis, fun..

The worst part of having fresh wounds on my legs is that my cat can't sit in my lap. It's breaking my heart.