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Why Me? Here is a safe space to let it all out, where you can rant about all the bad things life throws your way. Sometimes it just helps to ask "why me?"

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Unsure on how to feel. - April 16th 2021, 06:20 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

To continue on from my last 2 previous posts:

http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f31-w...mental-health/

http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f31-w...33-rough-week/

I feel worse in some ways. Today was my Grandmothers funeral and I thought that this would be some sort of closure for me. However, I don't know how I feel. I'm anxious, sad and just all over the place. I don't know. I'm glad she's at piece. I just don't know what to do.

In regards to my weekend/casual/bartending position, the rostering/senior manager has rostered me on for this Sunday but not for next week. Again. I addressed it with him about 2 or so weeks ago when he didn't roster me on last week and he simply said he 'forgot' but he's done it again this week. As usual, he didn't reply to my message asking him if I will be receiving any shifts. I don't know what his problem with me is. He has done this with me in the past and with several other employees. He hires new, younger staff, gives them all the good hours and it backfires because they either don't turn up to their shifts, call in sick or resign after a couple of months. I've been there for 10 months and have called in sick 2 or 3 times because I was generally sick. I have a feeling it might be because last Saturday, they asked me to cover a closing shift with not even 3 hours notice and I couldn't because I wasn't well.

But, I had a Zoom interview with a restaurant for a bartending position and she pretty much offered me the job on the spot. It's a brand new restaurant and she said that she'll send me an email to set up my profile to get access to the rosters and so forth. She said "Welcome to the team!" so I guess I got the job.


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Re: Unsure on how to feel. - April 16th 2021, 03:34 PM

Hello,

I am so sorry that you are having a hard time with all of this and hope that you will be okay soon. Sending you and hope you are doing okay after the funeral.

When we have lost someone it can be hard to find something to help pick us up because we are feeling so many things. However you are feeling is totally fine.

When you have time try to find something to help you out and to feel a little bit better. For example, putting on funny movies or TV shows or going for a walk around your house or reading a book for a while or drawing or painting or calling a friend or family member or something else that you enjoy doing. Sometimes we may have to do a few things to help us to feel a little bit better and if that happens try not to get upset or feel down because it is totally fine to find different things to help us to feel better.

When you are at work can you and the other people who you are working with all go up as a group and talk about what is happening is not ok to do. Sometimes when you have more than one person they may listen to all of you and they may change what and how they are treating all of you. That is great about the new job and I wish you the best of luck with this. I hope that you will be okay soon.


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Re: Unsure on how to feel. - April 16th 2021, 03:35 PM

First of all, I want to say I am so sorry for you and your family's loss. Take all the time you need to grieve, and reach out if you need to. We're here for you.

I remember looking up on Wikipedia a few months back because your usage of "casual job" really confused me; so correct me if I am wrong here but I am just going off what I read from Wikipedia. In Australia, a casual job means part-time or contract, correct? I'm not saying what your manager is doing is right; but is this something you could consider as to why he's not been putting you on the roster?

Additionally, it's about to be Winter there, so it's possible he's ready to scale back as the season slows down. I have no idea where in Australia you live, if commerce depends heavily on seasonal tourists, or if businesses are open year-round. But irregardless of whether you work part-time/contract if it's year-round/seasonal; what he is doing is not right. He should be communicating with you and, when you reach out, he shouldn't be blowing you off.

I'm glad your Zoom meeting went well with a potential employer and it sounds like she's ready for you to work with her. I don't see why you shouldn't go ahead and take it; leave the other job behind.
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Re: Unsure on how to feel. - April 17th 2021, 03:43 AM

Thank you for your replies.

The following link will help describe what a casual position means as it explains it better than what I can.

https://www.hrassured.com.au/blog/what-is-casual-work/

Everything has happened at once and I feel like I've taken on too much work.


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Re: Unsure on how to feel. - April 17th 2021, 07:54 PM

Thank you for sharing that link, it helps a lot!

Are you interested in only working on an as need basis — casual employment — or are you interested in taking on a more permanent position? It sounds like you are dealing with a lot right now and I don't know what this new job offer qualifies as in category of work.

I hope things begin to settle down for you soon.
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Re: Unsure on how to feel. - April 19th 2021, 10:54 AM

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Originally Posted by sauorkan View Post
Thank you for sharing that link, it helps a lot!

Are you interested in only working on an as need basis — casual employment — or are you interested in taking on a more permanent position? It sounds like you are dealing with a lot right now and I don't know what this new job offer qualifies as in category of work.

I hope things begin to settle down for you soon.
I'm more interested in working in a more permanent, full-time position. Hopefully this will come soon.


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Re: Unsure on how to feel. - April 19th 2021, 11:54 AM

I think it's good to remember that no two people process grief in the same way, and because of that emotions will vary and sometimes not feel how you expected them to. Being all over the place is completely normal. It's a huge life event and recovering from that is a process. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to feel the full range of emotions even if to you they seem unusual. I think funerals give the expectation of closure, but often afterwards, we're still stuck with the reality of what has happened, and we're no closer really to being at peace with that. It's okay to take your time and deal with things at your own pace. Just remember, you're not doing this alone and it's good to utilise the support systems you have around you when you're dealing with this.

I'm sorry that your manager has been so up and down with your work shifts. All of the uncertainty of whether or not you'll have hours is a lot to deal with on top of the other stuff you have going on. It's unprofessional in my opinion that he isn't replying to your messages and can't even give you a definite schedule. I'm glad you're interested in something more permanent. Casual work sounds a lot like a zero hour contract here in the UK, and I've known people who have worked a zero hour contract and hated it. They might be scheduled for 50 hours of work one week, and absolutely nothing the next with no promise of when they might work again. It's very up in the air and it's understandable that it's causing you a lot of stress. I hope you manage to find something more steady soon. I'm sorry you're dealing with all of this.

Feel free to message me any time if you need to talk about anything.


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Re: Unsure on how to feel. - April 20th 2021, 10:27 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Everglow. View Post
I think it's good to remember that no two people process grief in the same way, and because of that emotions will vary and sometimes not feel how you expected them to. Being all over the place is completely normal. It's a huge life event and recovering from that is a process. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to feel the full range of emotions even if to you they seem unusual. I think funerals give the expectation of closure, but often afterwards, we're still stuck with the reality of what has happened, and we're no closer really to being at peace with that. It's okay to take your time and deal with things at your own pace. Just remember, you're not doing this alone and it's good to utilise the support systems you have around you when you're dealing with this.

I'm sorry that your manager has been so up and down with your work shifts. All of the uncertainty of whether or not you'll have hours is a lot to deal with on top of the other stuff you have going on. It's unprofessional in my opinion that he isn't replying to your messages and can't even give you a definite schedule. I'm glad you're interested in something more permanent. Casual work sounds a lot like a zero hour contract here in the UK, and I've known people who have worked a zero hour contract and hated it. They might be scheduled for 50 hours of work one week, and absolutely nothing the next with no promise of when they might work again. It's very up in the air and it's understandable that it's causing you a lot of stress. I hope you manage to find something more steady soon. I'm sorry you're dealing with all of this.

Feel free to message me any time if you need to talk about anything.
Thank you for your reply. It helped a lot.

I do have a full-time job through out the week but it's just frustrating as the extra bit of money I earn from my casual position helps with paying bills and so forth.


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