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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
July 9th 2010, 10:24 PM
i think i might be developing a bit of a secret, semi puppy crush on someone from this site...and I don't even know him, and I don't really want to im tired of internet relationships LDRs are over rated but im afraid thats the only relationships i'll be involved in for all early stages of mylife
The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows.
It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it.
You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
July 10th 2010, 12:38 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by JamieRage
i think i might be developing a bit of a secret, semi puppy crush on someone from this site...and I don't even know him, and I don't really want to im tired of internet relationships LDRs are over rated but im afraid thats the only relationships i'll be involved in for all early stages of mylife
i had 6 online relationships but i given up on it now. dont want to try again.so jamie,its normal. relax.
there goes my little secret...
and why i broke up on 6 guys??
cause of looks and boardness.
well,its all about honesty anyway. and the topic.
dont be afraid to ask me for advice though,i experienced it all online.
but never real life. so your not alone.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
July 11th 2010, 12:54 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by JamieRage
i think i might be developing a bit of a secret, semi puppy crush on someone from this site...and I don't even know him, and I don't really want to im tired of internet relationships LDRs are over rated but im afraid thats the only relationships i'll be involved in for all early stages of mylife
Just because you have a crush on him doesn't mean you have to date him. Just thought I'd point that out. Never had a TH crush before, but I feel your pain. xD
Sometimes I feel like no one will ever like me, even when they say that they do. I don't know why, I guess it's just because I dislike myself so much. I shouldn't trust anyone anymore, because even if they don't try to they always end up hurting me.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
July 13th 2010, 10:16 PM
I'm still in love with her, though she will never want me back.
I'm addicted to cocaine..I od'd this year.
My step dad bats and rapes me.
I'm scared to me alone.
I never feel like I'm good enough.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
July 15th 2010, 04:14 PM
I'm scared no one actually loves me or cares about me. I get so seriously lonely I can't stand it. I love one of my best friends but she doesn't love me back. I think way too much. I'm considering stopping one of my meds because I pretty much have no sex drive anymore and I want that back so badly. I'm scared I will never amount to anything. I am pretty sure I have borderline personality disorder. That's all for now.
"If you are going to tell the truth, be funny, or they'll kill you."
-Billy Wilder
My tumblr is mydalekromance.tumblr.com please visit me there.
feel free to contact me anytime.
Support for victims of sexual assault or abuse can be found here start the healing
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
July 16th 2010, 12:38 AM
i got up and left her because she was treating me like shit. but i cant help but wonder what people would say if she posted our story on here. all the shitty things they'll say about me. and i could argue all i want about them not really knowing shit. but i dont think it would really matter. because of the way shes tells it makes me look like shit. so now i hestiate whenever i think of giving advice on here. because i think about the other side of the story. how can i give advice to some random person online when i never have really heard the full story?
" One day at a time, this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering. "
i wonder when i'll finally jsut start accepting myself, when i'll stop saying i wish i could be like that person.
i have facebook, and myspace. and you can ask for it. :P
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
July 16th 2010, 06:54 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hurricane
Just because you have a crush on him doesn't mean you have to date him. Just thought I'd point that out. Never had a TH crush before, but I feel your pain. xD
Sometimes I feel like no one will ever like me, even when they say that they do. I don't know why, I guess it's just because I dislike myself so much. I shouldn't trust anyone anymore, because even if they don't try to they always end up hurting me.
i know...im just reflecting on how these sort of things always seem to end for me...guess it was kind of out of context
The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows.
It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it.
You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
July 16th 2010, 06:58 AM
i wish i hated food and ate like a rabit because i want to be skinny even though i know i will never be happy with how i look...im so fat...and im doomed to obesity neither of my parents were big when they were 19-20 then they gained wait and weigh around 200 or more lbs...every one except my sister is like this even though she's not tiny either...i wish i was thin and had some muscle i hate the way i look...
sometimes i wish i was a boy so i could dress like a boy and have my hair short the way i want without caring what people say...i wouldnt have to worry about boobs and bras and back problems or periods or getting pregnant one day...i wish i was a boy sometimes, too bad i like guys too much :S
The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows.
It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it.
You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
July 17th 2010, 03:41 AM
I am falling apart inside and am so close to giving in, as much as now is really not the time for me to be doing anything 'stupid' I dont know how much longer I can hold it in for.. =(
I'm scared of myself more then anyone.
I still miss you, is that ridiculous after this long, tbh I doubt you'd even remember me if you saw me.. Why cant I get you outta my head!
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
July 24th 2010, 04:24 AM
sometimes I wish that I was pregnant with your child because then I would have a reason: to eat, to live, and to never sh again. Because then I wouldn't be so alone and I would have someone that would need me and love me no matter what
i feel bad for rejecting you so harshly. And I'm really sorry but I won't apologize because I don't want you to take it the wrong way. I wish that youvnever did any of those things so that I could at least give you a chance because I'm so alone but you have lost my trust
I show my friends her picture and it kills me when they say she's pretty because all I can think is if she is prettier than me and that's why you chose her instead. I look at her profile and find so many things that I have in common with her and it kills me 1. Because I'd be best friends with her if she wasn't dating you and 2. Because we are exactly the same but I don'tlive 3 hours away. We talked for hours everyday. Why wasnt I good enough?
they always say that the one worth crying for will never make you cry. Well the last one made me sh. And I want you to be worth it so badly that I refuse to cry no matter how much you hurt me.
I'm sorry for being such a horrible little sister. I still feel bad for everytime that I ruined your day. I wish that you didnt hate me and protected me like your supposed to. I still want to cry about never giving you that cookie when I was little. And I know that I ruin your time with mom by fighting with her and that it makes you anxious but I just can't help it. She makes things so difficult for me.
Mom... Meme was molested when she was my age. She told me a few weeks ago and I just don't know how to tell you because I cry just thinking about it. And she never told anyone not even Pepe. And I feel guilty and angry because even though I wasn't born yet I want to have stopped it. Because it's made her so scared of life that she never lived it. And it's made me scared too. And I'm angry for her friend knowingly bringing her into that situation. I'm also angry at Meme for not telling anyone and leaving those small children in that dangerous situation
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
July 27th 2010, 07:44 PM
I just wish someone would come here and take me out so we could eat ice-creams and drink coffee, buy books and talk about silly things. I'll never have that. I'm useless. I've had social phobia my whole life, but sometimes I just want to be normal.. but no, here I am. I quit everything, I have no friends, and I'm so ugly. I wish someone would come here and be with me, but that's never ever going to happen.
~ I can't get a life if my heart's not in it ~
"It is our choices Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities." ~ Albus Dumbledore
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
July 27th 2010, 07:51 PM
Actually, I don't love you, I find you kinda boring. And there's this other guy that I've liked since November, even if I onle admitted it yesterday. Sorry.
There's always light at the end of a tunnel, even if you have to pass a few bends to see it.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
July 29th 2010, 07:50 PM
I kinda have a silly teenage girlie crush on the guy who sits across from me at work. He makes my day that bit brighter just by being there I dream naughty dreams about him. His accent makes me weak at the knees.
But I would never take it further, cos I'm very very happy in my relationship. I just had to confess somewhere and I figured it would be on TH.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
July 29th 2010, 07:59 PM
im not over you. it kills me to see you happy with him. i cant believe you left me for him. of all people. the biggest loser i know. fucking rich boy with all his troubles taken care of. after you said you just didnt want a relationship. you'd "changed". the new you wanted different things... i hate you.. your heart is made of stone... but i'd choose no other....
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
July 29th 2010, 10:53 PM
Sometimes I can't wait until I grow up so I can move away and fucking forget about all of you. I hate having a family. I didn't ask for you, why should I have to put up with such low class annoying losers? I hate you all. Oh, and yeah, the same mom who apparently does so much for me has never cleaned in her life and hasn't cooked a meal at home in what... a year? Go bitch to someone else about how much you do for us, I don't give a shit.
My problem isn't depression or whatever other shit they want to pin on me, it's you. Ever since I was little you've all done nothing but insult me, make me hate myself and my life. If you were all gone, I bet my depression would be too. I hate you all. I hate you I hate you I hate you. Just leave me alone.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
July 31st 2010, 02:17 AM
You hurt me, you're stupid, you lied, you never listened, but I'm still waiting for the day you come back. I think of you constantly, and how I'm going to fix everything that happened between us... when you come back.
I can't believe after all I've been through, the drugs, the abuse, blah blah blah.. I was ruined by a guy that I fell in love with.
I have to be doing something. If I'm not doing anything, and I just sit there and let my mind wander, I go back to all the memories of everything. And it makes me just want to die.
To cope with the pain, I snort Ambien sometimes.
Self harm free since 1/15/11
I accept everyone who accepts everyone
You can talk to me about ANYTHING at all, even if we've never talked before, so don't be shy
"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever" - Gandhi.
"Burst down those closet doors once and for all, and stand up and start to fight" - Harvey Milk.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
July 31st 2010, 11:25 PM
I had a dream last night that I was pregnant... I could feel my baby kicking and I wanted nothing more than to stay in that moment forever... I woke up and looked in the mirror and cried because I don't have you inside me... That day I thought I was pregnant was the best day of my life...
I'm fourteen and have an ED but all I want is to have a baby inside me because for some strange reason I know that if I were pregnant I'd finally love my body.....
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
August 4th 2010, 03:34 PM
I still miss that person so much; it just feels like she was the only person in the world who actually heard me and cared.. even though she was being paid for it.. I know that should make the difference but tbh there isn't really anyone to compare to && since I've been in adult services I've realised how genuine that care was because just because there paid to do it doesn't always mean that they will.
I want to die so much but I'm scared doing anything now will set back mum's recovery. I don't want it to be my fault when things go wrong.
I'm scared that despite all our efforts she's going to die soon anyway, the Dr's can say what they like, if your body's trying to give up there's nothing you can do.. How many chances has she already used, how long does she have left?!