Say something you wish you could say to their face. - Page 162

mindflower

I don't want to be afraid of you anymore,
but I'm so scared I'm putting one of us in danger,
and I know you don't care about me,
but on the slight chance that you do,
I'm just afraid of what The End will think,
I don't want to get punished for being happy anymore,
or feeling safe,
when you hug me, when you talk to me, make me smile and laugh,
I can't do it....
which is why I need to be scared of you.
I'm so scared.
I miss you way too much for this, but facing my fears and talking to you, just like we used to be, would mean horrible things you'll never understand.

I wish you could understand.
But its not like you care.....

Ambedo.

-I'm sorry. I know we won't ever be the same, but I'd like to try to put the pieces back.

-Seriously. Stop doing this. Either let me in completely or not at all. I can't handle you playing with my mind like this again. And the saddest part is, you and I both know that I'll never really be able to walk away. I love you too much to do that to you.

-Fuck timezones. I need you right now, but your ass is probably still in bed and that sucks. I need my motherfucking person. It'll be so much easier when I'm there with you.

bitesize

Why didn't you write back?? I know you saw it and I totally fancy the crap out of you and the last two weeks I've been really looking forward to your replies, each and every one.... why didn't you reply this time?? I really needed the distraction from the fight with my boyfriend..

Rivière

We've known each other for 5 years. In all these 5 years I've known you, never have I felt so alone while I sit here and watch the chatbox look so...dead. I feel selfish. I know you're going through a rough time and I've supported you every single time. Time and time again but all you're doing is taking and taking. Ok great you sit and listen to me about my problems but when I try and help you, it's like nothing I say even matters. Like nothing I try and do to help is worth anything. It hurts how you'd rather listen to people who call you names and insult you than someone you call your 'buddy' and choose never to take heed of what's said. It feels like you're dying on me. Again. I feel heartbroken. I'm feeling abandoned. If you leave me, then I will truly be alone.

mindflower

Save me from myself.... save me save me save me SAVE ME

Ambedo.

-You're kind of a bitch. I finally understand why our friendship has lasted so long. It's because we never see each other more than twice a year. And that's only for a couple days at a time. I seriously don't understand how we're still so "close".

-I miss the way we were. But, you don't and I know I pushed you to be like that. At the time, it's what I wanted. It's one of my biggest regrets.

dani99

I wish we were still friends because I'm so in love with you. You never told me why and I'm kept in the dark, and I'm a little mad at you for that. But at the same time I forgive you because you're so amazing in everything else. I miss you. I wish you didn't graduate.

NonIndigenous

"Unpatriotic Godless Pratt???"

Really??

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Kate*

It appears that this was substance-related. If that's true, I'm sorry you struggled and suffered for however long you did. Rest in Peace now.

nothereanymore

I love you. But you really make me feel like shit sometimes. I don't know what to say to you to make myself feel better AND not make you feel bad AND not sound like a bitch. It's been nearly a year. I still don't know how to talk to you. I don't know what to do with you.

Jordioa18

To mum: Is school all teens are allowed to do and nothing else? We have our own brains, our own interests, school isn't our life, you know? Godverdomme.

To school rules: Just wait a few years and you need to do VWO to get a low job goddamnit!

To girlfriend: Why did you disappear on Skype so quickly? I miss you already, and I feel like you're the only person dear to my heart. I love you.

Blankanator

I wish you understood my mind, mom. Why you can't talk to me the way you used to, why I am the way I am, and why I despise you almost all the time. Why can't you be the loving mom I always see in movies or on TV shows? Why do you have to always take your anger out on me? Can't you just understand I want you to love me?

Kate* · 02:34 AM

And we're back to your class making me cry and ruining my weekend. I think in the back of my mind I knew I'd end up here again, that it was only a matter of time before I started to fall apart. Maybe you were right when you said I don't belong in the profession. I don't even know how I spiraled there, but now I can't stop it. I'm right back to failing again and then it's all over. I really can't do it. Maybe I'll ask him how much of this is reality and how much of it is my mind screwing with me. It's not his job, but he said "Let me know how I can keep you from breaking, I'm a counselor that's my job." If it doesn't work, though, he'll know everything and i don't know what he's going to do with it. Thank God we didn't do the second hour because I didn't have it in me and I totally just would've f***ed it up and made myself feel even worse. I know what I need, but no one here can provide it for me and I can't go to the place where they will.

You are partly in control of hiring people so here's what I need. I need to be able to register for classes and be 100% confident that I won't get an instructor who makes me want to kill myself. Can you do that for me? And while we're at it do I belong in the profession, and if not how the hell did I get in?! and what am I supposed to do now?

Alucard

I think it's best if we don't see each other anymore. Ever. I've caused you too much pain and as much as you say I put up with you, the truth is you put up with me. You deal with my one word answers and my cold shoulder of emotion. You say you loved me more than I did you, but that's not true. People love different ways and I really did love you with all my heart. I'm still hurting, but I will never hate you for what you did. I just need lots and lots of time to heal. I still want you in my life, but just not now.

Kate*

I will be speaking to him about this whether he can do anything about it or not.

Please hear me and don't push me away or minimize what I tell you when I come to you with this. You have no idea how much courage it's going to take.

Eternal

You expect too much from me.

Kate* · 10:06 PM

You leave the assignments at home and I'M the immature one who doesn't belong in the profession, yeah, I don't think so! and we can't do meetings for the second one until we've already done the 3rd. What the hell?! I don't think I did well on the test, but at this point I really don't give a f***. I am speaking to him tomorrow, not to beg for my grade, but because, due to your treatment of me, I need him to convince me that I'm not an incompetent idiot!

Meeting with you tomorrow morning, I'm SO nervous for no reason, I need you to tell me I'm not over reacting, that she doesn't have the right to say what I think she said, and convince me that I DO belong here, or at least that I'm not completely incompetent.

*Rainbow*Rider*

I have never felt so weak, so drained of colour. I can't do it.

Kate*

What am I supposed to do if none of my options are good ones?

Ambedo.

Get out of my head. You're toxic.

Rivière

Lawd. I wanna talk to you. I wish I had the courage to. I want the courage to. I want to talk to you about us. I want to break up with you before we go on this ''big holiday' of yours for a few days. I hope you haven't booked the hotel yet because I'm panicking and I have a huge fear you have. I hope you haven't because you said in August and it's only nearing the middle of July.

Kate*

I'm 98% sure that I've come to my decision and YOU FUCKED MY LIFE UP TWICE NOW BITCH! Only this time is worse because if I had made the right decision the first time I wouldn't be in this mess now!

mindflower

I miss you so fucking much and can't do anything about it

Ambedo.

-I know you say you'll always be here, but I can't help but doubt that. Not because of you, but because of me. I treat you like shit so often and I know I'm not the best person for you to have in your life. We fight all the time lately and I can feel us drifting. I can't lose my best friend, though. I just can't.

-You stopped me that night. I can't thank you enough for that. I know we have our issues, but don't ever leave my life. I can't do this without you on my side.

Ennui.

I'm going to your funeral in a few minutes. I hope your family is okay with me being there because I feel like this is something I needed to do to tell you goodbye. We lost a really great teacher with your passing after all, but you're not in any pain anymore and now it's time for you to stop fighting and have a good long rest. Goodbye and rest in peace.

Rivière

Y'know, I realise I'm a really bad daughter. You're a great mum. The best in the world. I take you for granted and I don't listen at the times when I should. I listen to you with a lot of things you say but there are times when I should, but don't. I suppose it's just that I've held on to some childhood things and being a bad daughter is one of them. I'm working on getting better. I hope you've seen that I am getting better and I'm becoming different. I mean, you have told me that I've improved and whatnot, I can only hope I can continue.

savealife723

I'm really glad that you told your parents that we want to get married, but I'm seriously just so frustrated and aggravated with you lately. You've told me the past three months that you've been looking for a job and I thought you meant that you were seriously applying at many places and checking up on your application. But then I find out that you don't even have a resume?! How the fuck can you apply for jobs with a resume? You can't. So you're obviously lying to me and I have a major problem with that. How can we arrange our futures together if you're going to lie to me about things? I have a job. I'm making money. I have a steady income. I understood if you needed to borrow money every once in a while because you were waiting to get hired somewhere, but you don't even have a resume so how the hell did you apply there? I'm just sick of finding out bullshit.

Rivière

Feels like we're leading up to a huge deep conversation here and I'm kinda feeling like there's no point in us talking right now because you have to go to work in less than 30 minutes and then we're going to end up talking about things face to face and I'll avoid wanting to say to you what I really want to say to you and bleh.

amystery

Youre a sweet talking jerk. It didnt hurt when you dumped me via a text message...I saw it coming and I knew we were never going to work. As weird as it sounds though I wish youd be more of a jerk about it...everyone else feels it was a jerk move but for whatever reason I just cant hate you..maybe its because I didnt really expect anything more from you. who dumps someone because they dont do weed ? like seriously?

Terry

I can't believe you still look down on her after all this time. You don't know her, don't even pretend like you even remotely do. You're a fucking cunt, you really are.

2The Doctor2

Evan if you don't like me as more then a friend I will never stop thinking about you.

Ambedo.

-You are seriously one of the neediest people I have ever met. I don't understand why you need to cling to her so much. You're a grown ass woman. You need to learn to start dealing with things on your own, especially when they're as trivial as this. Stop looking for a hand to hold and start figuring things out for yourself. I'm beyond tired of this and I can't imagine how she feels.

-Fuck you. You do not get to call her a bitch. I know I'm not exactly in a place to jump to her defense, but you are an asshole. You're playing with fire if you think you're going to sit there insulting her from behind a screen and get away with it. I might not be able to do anything about it right now, but I promise you there are people who can.

-You're an idiot. I love you. I support you. But, you're an idiot. This is going to blow up in your face. I don't want to see you get hurt like that again.

Jovial.

- I don't know what I would do without you. I'm really mean to you. I feel really bad about it. I just I need you to let me go. I need you to know that its gonna be okay. You are gonna make it through this, you are strong. I can see it in you. You been through hell and you still walk the earth. Don't ever forget how amazing you are. Don't ever give up.

bitesize

- I don't know, once you asked me out it kind of made everything weird.. I was able to pretend in my head that we were just chatting all friendly and innocent before that. Now I feel guilty because I love my boyfriend and also because I probably led you on a bit, because I liked talking to you. But now I'm a bit worried about when you're back. Are we just going to keep mailing?? :/

-You need to back the fuck off and stop guilt-tripping me. STOP. You have no idea how childish and annoying it is and I'm not the kind of person who's going to respond to it and give you the attention you want. I just ignore that sort of thing. So stop.

-Hah, I totally fancy you and I know you fancy me too after the way you laughed at me in the kitchen last night when I was looking for the clingfilm. You're a cutie.

MegaMadness

I fucking love you okay. More then any one else. I treat you better. I'd never hurt you. I'd look after you and give you everything you've ever wanted. And yet you don't love me. It's not fair.

Jovial.

There's a little part of me, that I'm afraid to let you see.

Jovial.

I'm ready.

Rivière

I really do hope that us parting ways was for the very best. I'm sorry but we have to move on and it would have been unfair for us to continue. It was very hard for me to come out and say that because I still do care for you, just not in that way anymore.

Astrophile.

You're pathetic.

ElsatheDepressionSlayer

You verbally abused me, then blamed me for your pain. I hate that a part of me takes that blame. You're the one who cut yourself. It was your decision, and I didn't make you do it. Part of me is annoyed that you're over 3 weeks self harm free, because you don't want to recover. Your self harm is only getting better because your ED is getting worse. You want your disorder, and here I am, fighting to get better. But I have no right to begrudge you going 3 weeks without cutting. Most of me is glad about it, because it shows that you are better off without me. It confirms that I made the right choice for both of us when I left. I'm almost 8 weeks self harm free, and I'm fighting so hard to keep my record better than yours. I'm winning.