Self Expression Poems, stories, artwork and similar creations are great ways to let out your thoughts or feelings. Please share your work with us here!
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Name: Trinity
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A Love Poem -
May 11th 2016, 02:44 AM
I wrote this for the love of my life, Hailey. I think this may help me prove my love to her.
The girl with the pretty brown eyes,
She loves her some fries.
She has long brown hair.
I think I see her everywhere.
Even if people stare,
From here to there,
I'll follow you anywhere.
I love you.
So? Honest feedback!
Update: I changed the poem a bit!
The girl with the pretty brown eyes,
we'll still be talking when we die.
She has long brown hair,
I think I see her everywhere.
Even if people stare,
From here to there,
I'll follow you anywhere.
I love you.
Better?
Last edited by Agirlwithafeelingforgirls; May 12th 2016 at 06:36 AM.
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Gotta keep your face up.
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Re: A Love Poem -
May 11th 2016, 03:56 AM
I would kind of think of this in a more friendshippy way if I got this, especially if I didn't already know if you were LGBT+. It is a really cute poem, don't get me wrong, but the line "She loves her some fries" just makes it more seeming like a silly, friend type poem in a way.
The sun is always gonna rise up
You need to get up, gotta keep your head up
Look at the people all around you
The way you feel is something everybody goes through
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Name: Trinity
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Re: A Love Poem -
May 11th 2016, 10:26 PM
Yeah, it kinda does. I just couldn't think of anything lese that rhymes with fries. lol
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Feline the love.
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Re: A Love Poem -
May 12th 2016, 12:29 AM
I think this is really sweet.
If clarity's in death, then why won't this die?
Years of tearing down our banners, you and I
Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts
Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first
The axe forgets, but the tree remembers
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Re: A Love Poem -
May 12th 2016, 04:01 AM
I did think this was really cute but I also agree with Dez. If people didn't know things about you they would be more likely to think that this was meant in a friendly way.
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Name: Trinity
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Re: A Love Poem -
May 12th 2016, 06:33 AM
Thanks guys!
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Name: yen nhikorea
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Re: A Love Poem -
May 12th 2016, 11:44 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Agirlwithafeelingforgirls
Yeah, it kinda does. I just couldn't think of anything lese that rhymes with fries. lol
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Yes, I agree with you 
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Please call that story back.
I've been here a while
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Re: A Love Poem -
May 12th 2016, 07:22 PM
What a sweet way to express your love for her.
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Re: A Love Poem -
May 12th 2016, 07:34 PM
Thanks, Maizel.
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Name: yen nhikorea
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Re: A Love Poem -
May 14th 2016, 06:29 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Three_Blind_Mice
What a sweet way to express your love for her.
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My guess is that she will feel happy
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