Childhood ending

[Storks]

Hi. I'm a 19-year-old girl who's graduating from high school real soon. In August I will be moving to another country to attend university.
I have the best home life I could ask for. I love both my parents very much and I'm especially close with my mom. I'm having a hard time coping with the fact that I will have to leave them behind. I will probably never live with them again after this. In four months I will leave and I might never return to live in my hometown. My childhood house that I've lived in since I was barely out of the womb. My bedroom. I'm a terribly sentimental person and I'm just struggling with the emotional side of things quite a bit.
My parents have always supported my decision to study abroad, and they want nothing but the best for me, but still the thought of them becoming empty nesters makes me sad since I'm their only child. Just to make it clear, my parents have NEVER made me feel guilty for this, this is purely something that my stupid anxious brain has made up. Another concern that I have is my grandma. She lives alone as my grandpa passed away 2 years ago. I visit her almost every day. Who will do that once I'm gone?
I'm also incredibly embarrassed because at this age I should be ready for independence and living on my own, but I feel totally unprepared. Adult life seems so hard, I struggle with making decisions that will have a lasting outcome and I fear that I will encounter more and more of those as time goes on.
I know all of this makes it sound like I don't even want to study abroad. I do. It'll open the door to a whole world of new opportunities. I know it's a privilege and I know I should be grateful, and I really am. I just need to find a way to cope with these things and that's really the reason I came here.
I guess all of this ties into a fear of my childhood ending. To all you adults out there - if you have experienced this, how did you deal with it? I'd be grateful for any advice. Thank you for reading.

[Butterscotch.]

Hi there, welcome to TeenHelp and thanks for reaching out! The milestone of graduating from high school and the realization that your childhood is officially over can be scary. You have every right to feel the way you do right now, and I certainly don't think you're being entitled. Moving to another country is scary, and walking away from the only people you've ever known is scary! I never did this, but I did go to school in another state about six hours away from home. I wish we had the technology in the late 2000s that we have today!

If your parents, grandmother, or friends use social media platforms or apps such as Facetime you can always call them that way. I understand older people might not be too fond of it, but you can always take a quick video and send it to them via email or text! Remember, just because you're leaving home and going to university in another country doesn't mean you can't go back for a visit. You sound like you have such a great relationship with your parents and grandmother, I'm sure your visits home would be even better.

As for your grandmother, I would start by spending the next few months with her. I'm sure she has stories of her own to share about travelling if she had that opportunity in her youth! Older people tend to have much more wisdom to share that you can't find simply by Googling it. Take your grandmother out for a cup of tea or go for a brunch, window shopping, etc through the next few months.

I miss my childhood home so much. It's been more than fifteen years since I moved away. I have fantasies of moving back and renovating it; but I know that price would quickly skyrocket into the millions... which I don't have. But holding onto the fond memories you have of your home, your neighborhood, the joyous occasions and friends you spent time with there will help. Perhaps have your parents, grandmother, and friends send you pictures, get them printed out, and work on a scrapbook photo album to take with you overseas.

Wishing you the very best of luck!

[Ennui.]

Hey,

It definitely is hard when you're ending a chapter of your life and entering a new one.

Do you think that it would help to take pictures of some of the things that you will miss when you are gone, such as your family, your bedroom, and places in your hometown that you really like? That way you have something nice to look at and you can think about happy memories you have associated with each of those places. With your parents, if they have smart phones or laptops with webcams you can face time them or write letters, which I know isn't the same but it is definitely a way to keep connected.

It might also be worth talking to your parents about how they feel about becoming empty nesters, and ask them to have an honest discussion with you. I'm not going to say it will be easy for your parents at first, but I bet they will adjust. They love you and are so proud of you, and I think the thing they want most in life is to see you happy doing what you want. That's what any good parent wants for their daughter. But you might be able to discuss ways to ease the transition. Maybe you can leave something behind like a stuffed animal or a piece of clothing so they have something to look at and think of you. If your grandmother is able to, you can write her letters as well. Maybe depending on financials you can set her up with a companion that comes to visit her and helps her with daily tasks. That is something available in the US, but I don't know about other countries. I know it can be expensive though if insurance doesn't cover it.

I'll let you in on something. I'm turning 28 in June and there are still things I need help with. Don't be ashamed to ask for advice, because that's how you learn. For example, your university might have career services that can help you develop a resume and cover letter (or your country's equivalent). If you have roommates it's okay to ask them how to do certain things, especially if they have lived in the country that you will be attending in before. If you're all unsure, you can learn together!

For life skills and even other things, take advantage of your parents' help and support between now and August. Need to learn how to cook? Ask your parents for some recipes and practice cooking them where they can observe. Cleaning tips? They have those too! They've been in your shoes so I bet they'd be happy to pass on some tips and tricks. I'd say the thing I wish I knew more about was budgeting, so maybe that's something to ask your parents about. I tend to spend frivolously and then it catches up to me later, so I need to learn how to stick to a budget. But my parents have helped me a lot with independence.