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Pregnancy and Childcare If you're pregnant, a young parent, or have questions related to either, ask them here!

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Angry I'm pregnant, & im to blame for this, right? - October 27th 2011, 03:56 AM

I'm gonnaa make this short & to the point.
The father of my child said he'd be there & everything, he doesn't live with his parents & has no job.
My mom is being supportive & some of my fam adjusted quicker than others.
My mom calls his parents the other night & they had to call us back. So when they did his dad answered & his dad really had nothing to say. His mother had all the answers yet they knew a longgg time ago what were doing(sneaking around him slipping out his house to come 30 mins away to mine) but obviously didn't care enough to tell my mom. So she get all hysterical on the phone talking about all the things i did or said on MY facebook and her students (shes a teacher) tell her stuff. She even brought up stuff like me talking about another guy on my fb when i WASNT dating her son. Thinking maybe it isn't his & im lieing. (Hes the only guy ive had sex with) Just skipping around the main point here. She could have came out point blank and she didn't want anything to do with her grandchild. My mother was really upset how they blamed everything on me like i made him sneak out the house and come see me! My mother told me she doesn't want the father around but honestly thats not her decision. Ive been trying to get intouchh with him (its kinda hard when i barley catch him at school & he has no cellphone) to get his opinion on this. Last night i cried and cried upset at this. But i got up & realized things happened for a reason & i'll be ok.
Do you think they will later change thier mind when they realize its true??
What should i do next??
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Re: I'm pregnant, & im to blame for this, right? - October 27th 2011, 03:30 PM

Honestly, I think you did the right thing by trying to talk to them and having your mom help out a bit. Whether or not they are in the baby's life now, is up to them. You tried and you can say you tried. That's all that really matters. I think that they're just really overwhlemed right now and once the baby is born and they see pictures of their beautiful grandbaby they're going to want to see him or her. Sometimes it takes someone to see the reality of a situation before they calm down a bit. I hope things get better for you. Take care of yourself and that baby. x
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Re: I'm pregnant, & im to blame for this, right? - October 27th 2011, 03:58 PM

Hey there, it takes two to tango and in this situation is takes two to make a baby. You both shared equal part in this so it falls on the both of you. I'm pretty sure his mother is just being delusional in the fact that she can't wrap her mind around her baby sneaking out, having sex and getting you pregnant. Its rather ridiculous but sometimes parents become distraught and irrational when they find out that their child isn't the angel they thought they raised. Give her time and hopefully she'll get her head out of the clouds and face reality.

As for your baby's daddy, try and stay in close contact with him however you can. If he wants to be part of this child's life then encourage it and try to work something out like being able to see one another every weekend or what not. Talk to your parents about how important it is to you and hopefully they'll come around as well.





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Re: I'm pregnant, & im to blame for this, right? - October 27th 2011, 04:46 PM

If they don't believe you, and you KNOW he is the father, then get a paternity test done when baby is born.
That way, when the results come back and he IS the father, his parents can not deny it. They may not want to be involved, and that is their choice, but at least getting the test done you'll know you did everything you could to prove to them your child is their grandchild.


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Re: I'm pregnant, & im to blame for this, right? - October 27th 2011, 05:20 PM

No one was expecting or wanting this, so it's understandable for them to be a bit emotional. The larger issue, obviously, is the baby! Let's hope the emotions pass and both families can work together to use the time until the birth to set things up so you guys have every chance of success. Who did what and how and who's responsibility it was is really irrelevant now, that particular horse has left the barn.

I'd recommend you encourage them to keep their eye on the ball here and work with them on a plan to make this all work, and avoid all the emotion, it's really counterproductive.


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Re: I'm pregnant, & im to blame for this, right? - October 27th 2011, 07:57 PM

Hey jw how far along are you? There are other options... such as adoption or if you're for abortion that's an option... because I think that if you and your boyfriend are having troubles like this a child should not be brought into a world of so much stress, and a place where his grandparents don't want him or love him... but that's just my opinion. I'm so sorry you got caught up in all of this I know what i'ts like to have a pregnancy scare. Try as much as you can to get your boyfriends opinion on this... He's the one who stuck it in hun... not the other way around. This isn't your fault, and he needs to be involved in this..


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Re: I'm pregnant, & im to blame for this, right? - October 28th 2011, 02:06 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by XxMallyPrydexX View Post
Hey jw how far along are you? There are other options... such as adoption or if you're for abortion that's an option... because I think that if you and your boyfriend are having troubles like this a child should not be brought into a world of so much stress, and a place where his grandparents don't want him or love him... but that's just my opinion. I'm so sorry you got caught up in all of this I know what i'ts like to have a pregnancy scare. Try as much as you can to get your boyfriends opinion on this... He's the one who stuck it in hun... not the other way around. This isn't your fault, and he needs to be involved in this..
I am halfway through my pregancy! So those arent an option anymore. Yes we have alot of personal trouble between us. We still have sex sometimes, i guess i don't mind. Butt its emotional things. Now its his parents going off like i'm lieing or something. They have thier own troubles also, that me and my mama found out. But im going to try & catchh him tomorrow, like carry less stuff around because i've gotten a lil slow lol
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Re: I'm pregnant, & im to blame for this, right? - October 31st 2011, 06:27 PM

So he finally came to school today!! At the beginning before he headed to his first class he kinda looked at me like wtf are you talking to me, and then after our 2nd class i caught him just in time before he left walking to a car so we were talking and i asked him point blank wether or not he wanted to be there for the child, because if he said no i wouldn
t have begged i would have walked away & truely been through with him, but he said he had no choice he didn't want to see like a dead-beat father, and i also asked him did he want to come with me to the next appt to see the sex of the baby and see the ultrasound, he said yeah if he were able to. Now im not sure if he can come because my mother is mad at his parents so she told me not talk to him, but im not gonna deny him rights to his child just because his parents want to be a-holes right???? So i need him to call my mother and apologize and talk to her because my next appt is really early this time and she has to take me and we have school in the morning that day. As i was talking to him he cut me off saying he had to go and got in the car with a friend that i didn't even want to see who it was. But im not gonna trip imma just give him some time...anything else i should do though??
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Re: I'm pregnant, & im to blame for this, right? - November 2nd 2011, 03:34 PM

He sounds like a terrified teenage boy. Give him some space and maybe he will come around eventually, maybe not. Either way you need to prepare to be a single mother and not rely on him for anything (esp no emotional support because he sounds like he isn't in a good place to provide that right now)


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Re: I'm pregnant, & im to blame for this, right? - November 3rd 2011, 01:19 AM

Sounds like the perfect idea. Thanks.
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