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LGBTQ+, Sexuality and Gender Identity This forum is for you to explore your sexuality and identity, whatever that may be.

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I'm confused please help!! - February 16th 2021, 06:50 PM

Hi all,

I like girls and I get turned on by them. But at the same time I like guys. I have fantasies about both. I honestly don't know if I'm straight,gay or ,bisexual. I'm so confused. PLEASE help me.
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Re: I'm confused please help!! - February 17th 2021, 12:30 AM

Hi Steven,

First of all, welcome to TeenHelp and thank you for posting. Understanding your sexuality can be a really confusing thing and it's something lots of people do at all ages. It does sound possible that you could be bisexual, especially if you find yourself attracted to both girls and boys sometimes. But the only person who can settle on a label is yourself. There's wonderful resource that TH have which you can find here which lists the many different sexualities and key words for sexual orientation out there. It's not an exhaustive list, but it's a really helpful way of finding out what labels are out there and trying them on for size. It's quite a lot to look at, so don't worry if not all of them, or none of them, quite work for you. Every person is different, and labels sometimes don't quite fit.

Also, don't worry about necessarily finding one word which works right this second. Sometimes it takes some time to feel sure and settled, and that's ok. As I said before, people question throughout their lives, and labels sometimes shift and change as you get older and gain more experience. The main thing is that you feel accepted for who you are, so whatever label you do or don't choose to define yourself by, know that it's perfectly valid and perfectly okay. If you like both girls and boys, then there's nothing wrong with that. If you are straight, bi, gay or something else entirely, that's valid too, and you should always feel safe and confident with however you choose to define yourself.

I hope this helps a bit. Let us know if there is anything else we can help with.
Take care!

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Re: I'm confused please help!! - February 18th 2021, 03:34 AM

Hi Steven,

I know this feels confusing, but I promise this is such a normal experience to have. From what you've written, it sounds like you might be bisexual. But, as Hollie said, the only person that gets to decide that for sure is YOU. I've personally found that one of the best ways to figure out your sexuality is to simply experiment. Date people that you're attracted to, whether it's a guy or a girl, and see what feels right to you. You may find that only one feels right to you or that both feel right to you. No matter what, that's great!

Also, it's so important to remember that sexuality is such a fluid, personal thing. It's totally okay not to nail down a specific label right now. It's perfectly fine if you never do. It's even okay if you choose a label now and realize later that it doesn't work for you. The most important thing is that you're doing what makes YOU happy. Don't stress too much about figuring it all out right now. When it clicks, it will click and everything else will fall into place.

If you want to talk about this further, please feel free to PM me. I'm more than happy to talk through it with you, share my own journey, literally anything that you think might help.

Take care!

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