Today was a very sad and anger day. It was sad because I am still grieving over the lostes of my cousin and uncle, which made me totally unfocused at school. It was an anger day because it was 85 degrees this afternoon and I had to sit in a room and be taught by a tutor. This pissed me off very much. I am working on some writings that I think I will post online. Please give me your honest opinion about them and weather you like it or not. Always remember I am always here for advice. Most...

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Each day I feel worse... I get closer and closer to cutting and in someways I feel worse than when I was cutting. Nothing feels as good and there's nothing that can get it off my mind. All I want is the blade, it's the only thing that makes sense to me. I have days ahead of me when I'm alone, nobody to stop me, I have to do it alone and I'm not that strong! My life is so screwed up and I don't even know why!

All I can think about is the blade... it's horrid... in the shower, the razor... it just sits and stares at me... I can feel it now even though I'm in the next room... it's pulling me their... Even the blade in my pocket is nagging me to touch it... I need something to make it go away... I need drugs... I need drugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I need to run and escape the house... Day 7... I have to make it to 10... AT LEAST!!!!!!