I might go have a bath. With some bubbles. The crappy ones which don't work very well but don't make me itch.

Then I'll go to bed. I don't care that it's early.I just want to be out of it. And the easiest way to acheive that is to sleep.

Why can't I just sleep forever? Why do I have to wake up?

I don't know how I'm going to get up in the morning.

I'd say I feel numb, but I also feel scared. That's the main feeling now. I'm scared. I'm scared...

I've finished the chapter for Hannah. I don't think I can do anything else today. Seriously, feel completely worn out.

I've done my best at helping people on the forum today. I've replied to a load of posts.

I want someone to help me. But not just in words. Not just talking. I need someone to physically be here.

But they're not.

I'm getting a headache.

I think I'll go sit on the bed. At least then I can pretend that I'm revising....

I am such an idiot.. I spent most of the day throwing up and lying around doing nothing due to dizziness and aching. Why did i have to be so stupid, it didn't even work, all it has done is mess with my insides. I should have gone through with it on Friday, let alone yesterday.
I am so pathetic, just too scared to actually do it. My parents have noticed, but ignored it, like they didn't care. I need their help, i can't do this anymore....
I might as well just go and sit in the corner,...

I'm going to get some writing done today. I don't care how much effort it takes. I'm going to type that chapter up for Hannah because I promised her it two weeks ago. And then I'll see if I can't get some more stuff typed and posted.

I've just got to keep doing things. If I keep doing things then I won't feel so alone. But it's so hard to keep doing things. I don't feel sad, I just feel nothing. I'm empty.

I guess I'm lucky that my family is quite strict in certain...