I can't keep going. I can't. It's either overdosing or cutting or starving. I think I'll go with starving this time. It's the only thing on my mind. I can't put it off any longer.

There's no one to talk to about it. And I don't mean people on here. You're all lovely. Supportive. Wonderful. But I just want someone to hug me and tell me things are ok. I want someone to tell me I'm beautiful. But someone who knows me, who has seen me, who has talked to me. But they wouldn't, because...

So im still doing good. I haven't cut in 75 days, which is one day away from 10 weeks. 10 weeks ago i never would have imagined getting this long SH free. But i have and im proud of myself. I can make it past this. And i will. I have another therapy appointment in about a week. And for once i have nothing to hide. I like the new person i am seeing, so im actually looking forward to it.

I saw my friend L day before yesterday. The first time i saw her all summer. It was nice, being...

So, Linny's food bowl (the one in my room, he also has one in the main house) currently has no food in it because I don't want to open the new bag until I move, on Tuesday. But he's determined - he's currently pushing around the pieces to get to the crumbs he's left around and under the food bowl. I found it kind of funny, his determination. He's like, "fuck you I know there's food here somewhere! I can smell it!"

On the bright side, him clearing up his crumbs now means...

It's raining. It started raining overnight. I know, because I kept waking up, because I was too warm, and then my blankets would feel funny, and I'd realised I'd stripped them back to down by my knees or something of the sort. Also, my goosedown stuffed blanket has seceded from my bed, temporarily, and even without that, I was still too hot! Seriously. It's WINTER here.

Today seems a fair bit cooler than last night and I'm moderately glad. It's been raining pretty much all day, which...