Well im ok, i think. Been super busy with school. I still have good grades which really surprises me..
I cut again this past week. On my wrist for the first time in like a year, my friend noticed and made me promise not to do it again. The fact that i promised made me want to do it even more.. I think i'll just hide it better.

The last week i have had suicidal thoughts again. I hate how the just randomly come back. I wish they'd just stop. They come as soon as im starting...

I am really struggling i want to hurt myself so much. i am supposed to meet with my guidance counsellor again monday morning but i dont know if i can make it through today let alone make it till monday. I cannot do this life is just to hard. im ready to call it quits once and for all. Nobody understands the just say it will get better well it wont get better it never will. I AM JUST DONE. i guess life is just giving me what i deserve. but i dont need this i dont need anyone. no one needs me. i am...

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There are three scheduled discussions on the topic of dealing with emotional abuse in the Chat Room for users to seek advice and share thoughts and ideas! The first discussion will be held at 8pm UK time (BST), the second will be held at 8pm Eastern US time (EDT), and the third will be ...

The crazy thing about being this high is you just can't comprehend other people's depression. I mean, generally I can empathise, even though I'm really not very good at it. I do try. But I read all this stuff about how other people are really low and they want to die and their life isn't worth living, and there's a part of me that says, CAN'T YOU SEE HOW BEAUTIFUL EVERYTHING IS? HOW BEAUTIFUL YOU ARE?

Because all I can see at the moment is how good things are. I can see how my bed...

Hey, this is just a random request. I know that there are some of you out there following my blog, and I would like to know who you are so I can return the favour. If you are a regular reader of this blog, please comment, or write on my wall, or PM me or something, so that I know.

Thanks!

I hate feeling like this all I want to do is cut my arm till I die. I feel so alone I cant do this anymore. I have to meet with my guidance counsellor again today after school we met yesterday and I gave her my blades and stuff yesterday and we had a long talk. I told her everything I told her how I was feeling and showed her my arms and stuff. she was really concerned about me. I dont know how much longer I can do all this. I hate feeling like this and I hate myself. I told my counsellor everything...

. . . that on the 21st of September 2012, at 1830hours, Viscus_Aduro achieved 99 Firemaking. First 99, first skillcape. Victory is miiiiiine. Sort of.

Court: took all damn day. Got up at 8:30am, got to court around 9:30am. The general rule with court is as long as you turn up before 11:00am, you'll be okay, because there's simply so many people to see duty solicitors that you have to wait ages. Anyway, by the time I finally got seen by a duty solicitor, it was 11:30am.
...

I gave my guidance counsellor at school my blades and stuff and she said we will talk to me about it after school. I wish I kept them I want to use them so much right now but I guess I did it for the best. I dont understand why I am feeling like this. Maybe I should just end it all so then I dont have to deal with all of this crap.

So I had dinner. Early, but hey, it felt like the right time. 2x cups of broccoli & cauliflower medley (it's what the packet says, I swear), 1x cup of mixed vegetables (peas, carrots, corn beans), 2x slices of bacon. Was. Excellent. I am awesome.

And so far today I have:
-visited probation (and bugged my probation officer for an hour, who is worried about my being high)
-visited New World and bought more junk food
-cooked dinner
-did the few dishes...