My hear races as your walking in the doors.
Im afraid.

You just give me that sadistic look.
Making my flesh crawl.

My arms being twisted behind me.
I can feel my body being bent over the bed.

Grasping the matress trying to escape your
forceful grip.

Suddenly I feel It.
A sharp pain in my side.

A needle pressed into my skin burning me,
stinging.

Whimpering in pain.
I still...

From the moment I saw your beautiful blue eyes glisten, I knew.
I knew you were all I wanted.

The way you laugh is adorable, The cutest thing I have ever heard.
Its so contagious.

The way that you long brown hair flows over your shoulder, slightly touching your face in the wind.

Theres more to you than just good looks.
More than just your stunning body.

Its that way that you talk to me.
You speak so gently, you have...

Im Sitting here again.
The bathroom floor is beggining to feel more comforting each time.

My wrists laying at my sides.
The blood that stains the floor beside me.
I did it again.

I know what you all think.
How could you?
are you stupid?

I can't help myself.
If you only knew.
The sharp rigged edges that pierce my skin is my only escape.
My getaway.

Feeling the cold turn into burning heat.
...

Your eyes are burning through my flesh.
I can't speak.
Im stuttering, choking out the words.
Im afraid you wont like what I say.
That I'll speak of something you didn't want to hear.

You'll get mad.

I constantly try my hardest to please you.
I always seem to fail.
I just don't understand what you want from me.

I swallow hard trying to force myself to walk into the same room as you.
I am so scared that you will hate...

I lay in bed curled tightly.
I pull the covers over my face.
I can hear your footsteps on the stairs, I cant help but stare at the clock.
The flashing lights telling me the time.
3 a.m.
Its time.

I try to calm myself, I try not to breathe so loud.
I can feel you in my room, Im frozen.

The red blanket that once covered me, slowly moving backwards slightly grazing my neck, intensifying my fear.

Your touch is gentle at first...

You tell me that Im worthless, That I am just trash.
Thats exactly what I feel like.
You don't care about me, All you care about is the pain you put me in.

You tell me that you like to hear my screams, you like to see the tears pouring down my face as in choking trying to catch my breath.

My bodys torn to shreds.
Its been twisted, broke, and bruised.
It feels as if a thousand razors are trying to escape from my insides.

I want you...

You all act like you see right through me.
Think that you know everything about me.
You never will...

You wont ever see that pain and hurt that I lock away inside.
The scars on my body either from the belts that slapped my skin or the cuts from knives and razors shoved in so deep.

You think im strong.
Your wrong.
Im weaker than you'd imagine.
I cry myself to sleep at night.
I scream and beg for mercy to escape the aching pain....

I remember your face so clearly.
You were my best friend, My everything.
You made me a promise, you didnt keep it.
You told me that you would always be there for me.
That you would always protect me and keep me safe.
You lied.
God took you away from me.
If there's even such a thing as a god.
If so why doesnt he answer my prayers.
why doesnt he make my pain go away.
You never would have treated me like this.
All you ever did was love...

I can't sleep again.
Waiting for the sounds telling me it's time.
Watching the door as it slowly creeps open.
I hide under the covers and try not to breathe, praying that you'll let me sleep for just one night.
I should know better.
My skin crawling as you move your hands underneath my clothes.
Why do you do this to me.
I start to cry and you grab my hair and yank it telling me to shut my mouth and act like a man.
Im sorry im weak.
You undress...